THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


GIFT  OF 

Perigord 


LIFE  INSURANCE  SAYINGS 


BY 

JAMES  T.  PHELPS 

THIRD     EDITION. 


THE  SPECTATOR  COMPANY, 
95  WILLIAM  ST.,  NEW  YORK. 

I9<>5 


Copyright,  1895, 

BY  JAMES  T.  PHELPS, 

BOSTON. 


Bus.  Admin. 
Library 


8773 


CONTENTS. 

PAGB 

PREFATORY  NOTE 5 

THE  BIRTH  OF  INSURANCE         ....  9 
DEFINITIONS  OF  LIFE  INSURANCE         .       .       .11 

THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT    ....  17 

"Do  WOMEN  LIKE  INSURANCE?"        .               .  24 

ARGUMENTUM  AD  HOMINEM      ....  29 

THE  PLEASURES  OF  HOPE 33 

PROCRASTINATION 36 

OLD  AGE  AND  ENDOWMENTS         ....  41 

APPLIED  MATHEMATICS 44 

ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE     .       .       .       .49 

THE  USE  OF  QUOTATION 63 

THE  HUMOR  OF  IT 71 

FABLES  .  80 


PREFATORY  NOTE. 

On  the  24th  of  May,  1895,  the  National  Life 
Insurance  Company  of  Vermont,  whose  Massa- 
chusetts Agent  I,  and,  before  me,  my  father, 
have  together  been  for  forty-two  years,  issued 
a  small  classified  collection  of  the  suggestions 
which  for  some  time  I  had  been  daily  making 
to  the  public  upon  the  subject  of  life  insurance. 
A  limited  edition  of  these  Sayings  was  dis- 
tributed as  "  a  congratulatory  tribute  on  the 
fiftieth  anniversary  of  my  birth,"  and  because, 
also,  in  its  judgment,  they  possessed  "  intrinsic 
value  "  in  their  collective  form.  This  compli- 
mentary edition,  long  since  exhausted,  elicited 
an  interest  among  life  insurance  men  and  solici- 
tors, contrary  to  all  expectation,  and  in  excess, 
even,  I  fear,  of  what  they  merit  and  deserve. 

I  have  decided  to  comply  with  urgent  sugges- 
tions from  many  sources  for  the  publication  of 
a  further  edition,  such  step  being  rendered 
practicable  by  the  voluntary  assignment  to  my- 
self of  all  interest  which  the  Company  had  in 
the  copyright  of  the  original  book.  I  am  in- 
duced to  do  this  the  more  readily  because  I 


0  PREFATORY  NOTE 

believe  that  the  reading  and  study  of  these 
Sayings  will  bring  to  many  solicitors  something 
of  true  value  to  their  work.  They  were  always 
made  in  the  best  interests  of  that  work.  Out 
of  their  persistent  and  recurring  daily  use  there 
came  to  me  a  fair  measure  of  patronage,  and  it 
is  just  to  add  that  their  influence  for  good  upon 
the  general  business  of  insurance  has  also  been 
evidenced  by  frequent  signs. 

I  would  also  like  to  obtain  for  these  thoughts 
the  recognition  of  their  owning  a  broader  merit 
than  at  first  appears.  This  was  referred  to  by 
the  writer  of  the  Introductory  Note  in  the 
original  edition  as  follows :  "  For  Life  Insur- 
ance men  these  Sayings  have  had  a  special  at- 
traction, because  they  contained  correct  gener- 
alizations of  practical  business  problems,  how- 
ever quaintly  put.  They  are  quite  as  often  the 
summation,  so  to  speak,  of  innumerable  details 
of  thought  as  the  agreeable  expression  of  a 
passing  idea."  This  fairly  covers  what  my 
method  of  advertising  always  aimed  to  effect. 
For  advertising  deals  with  introductions,  with 
the  creation  of  a  primary  interest.  Conviction 
is  in  after  work.  The  first  is  the  vigorous  de- 
claration of  a  claim.  It  must  be  short, 
clear,  and  impressive  by  virtue  of  some  merit 
peculiar  to  itself.  Great  human  activities  are 
all  sufficiently  complex  in  their  claims  upon 
public  attention  to  entitle  each  of  them  to  its 


PREFATORY  NOTE  J 

own  special  form  of  display.  Life  insurance 
had  to  be  advertised  on  a  basis  differing  from 
that  adapted  to  the  advertisement  of  furniture, 
baking  powder,  or  soap.  The  saying  had  to 
represent  a  totality  of  thought,  crystallized. 
All  of  mine  were,  by  no  means,  crystals  of  that 
kind.  They  had  to  be  varied,  to  cover  the 
ground ;  recurring,  to  drive  home  the  idea ; 
attractive,  to  win  a  reception  ;  radically  true,  if 
ultimately  they  should  find  their  way  down 
what  Cicero  called  "  the  avenues  that  lead  to 
men's  hearts." 

Back  of  most  of  the  Sayings  and  Fables  in 
this  little  book  will  be  found,  I  think,  this  ele- 
ment of  truth,  a  logic  of  condition,  circum- 
stance, and  fact.  The  wit  of  it,  if  any,  must  lie 
in  its  wisdom;  the  humor  of  it,  in  its  weight;  its 
quaintness,  even,  in  virtue  of  its  covering  a  de- 
fensible truth,  however  raimented.  Wit,  humor, 
and  quaintness  have  no  part  in  what  analysis 
reveals  to  be  no  neighbor  of  the  truth.  All 
good  things  possess  substance. 

In  illustration  of  what  proceeds,  take  the  fol- 
lowing saying  on  Page  24:  "  Do  Women  Like 
Insurance  ?  Widows  do" 

This  question  is  trite  and  commonplace,  yet 
would,  when  seriously  asked  of  any  audience, 
command  respectful  attention.  It  is  not  only 
serious,  but  creates  a  wholly  serious  impression 
and  leads  to  wholly  serious  thought.  It  is  not 


8  PREFATORY  NOTE 

until  the  answer  is  read  that  this  impression 
is  dispelled.  The  "  unexpected  "  in  the  reply 
and  the  play  of  feeling  to  which  the  words,  in 
combination,  "  Widows  do,"  give  rise  in  the 
mind,  settles  it  in  every  case  that  I  have  ob- 
served. It  provokes  a  smile.  What  of  it  ? 
That 's  temporary.  The  smile  crystallizes  the 
question.  It  is  the  peg  upon  which  the  ques- 
tion hangs  itself  until  settled  in  the  mind  of 
every  reader.  The  question  is  bound  to  recur 
to  some  minds  :  "Do  Women  Like  Insurance  ?" 
Next  time,  their  answer  may  be  :  "  Will  my 
widow  ?  "  The  saying  suggests  woman  as  the 
great  beneficiary  of  the  productive  value  in  her 
husband's  life  and  insurance  as  the  one  medium 
competent  to  maintain  that  combination  indefi- 
nitely. 

I  have  devised  few  sayings  myself  or  applied 
those  of  others  (which  I  have  often  done  and 
here  confess)  which  were  not  founded  in  a 
serious  and  studied  consideration  pf  the  main 
point.  It  is  hoped,  therefore,  that  co-workers 
in  the  profession  will  find  something  in  them, 
not  merely  for  the  burning  of  an  hour's  time 
but  also  to  their  aid  and  their  advantage. 

JAMES  T.  PHELPS. 
BOSTON,  July  20,  1895. 


THE  BIRTH  OF  INSURANCE 

"  Blessed  labor  was  born 
Unto  all  that  is  human, 
Through  the  charms  of  a  snake 
And  the  weakness  of  woman. 
Men  do  not  repine, 
But  increase  their  endurance  / 
And  strengthen  their  work 
By  the  aid  of  Insurance'1 


DEFINITIONS   OF   LIFE  INSURANCE 

WITH  what  adjectives  men  will  qualify  life 
insurance  depends  somewhat  upon  the  condi- 
tions under  which  the  definition  is  exacted  and 
the  purpose  to  which  the  definition  is  to  be 
applied.  In  the  broadest  sense  of  its  meaning, 
life  insurance  is  not  defined  until  everything 
there  is  of  it  has  been  given,  its  objects  and 
the  media  through  which  its  objects  are  to  be 
secured.  A  thousand  and  one  avenues  lead  to 
the  same  place,  and  a  thousand  phrases,  all 
different,  will  suggest  the  same  general  con- 
cept. Definition,  in  other  words,  leaves  room 
for  the  uses  of  imagination. 

Life  Insurance  shall  find  favor  in  your  eyes 
and  shine  with  a  brighter  light  than  ever, — 
the  protection  of  labor,  the  guardian  of  the 
destitute,  the  riches  of  the  poor,  the  anchor  of 
the  anxious,  and  the  luxury  of  the  rich. 

Dorit  groan  when  you  pay  a  life-insurance 
premium.  It  is  not  expense,  and  you  are  not 
paying  something  for  nothing.  You  are  sav- 
ing money,  and  insurance  is  taking  care  of  it 


12      DEFINITIONS  OF  LIFE  INSURANCE 

for  you.  If  you  think  you  can  do  better  for 
yourself,  do  so,  and  go  without  insurance.  In- 
surance makes  no  special  plea ;  this  is  busi- 
ness, done  in  a  business-like  manner.  Each 
one  pays  his  share  and  does  so  because  it  is 
for  his  interest  to  do  so,  and  no  others  are 
wanted. 

The  Beauty   of   life  insurance    is   that   it 
reaches  its  maximum  value  when  everything      / 
else  is  made  uncertain  by  death.     This  is  ex- 
actly what  it  is  for,  and  there  is  nothing  that 
can  take  its  place,  or  misdirect  it  either. 

Time  is  Bald  behind.  You  must  take 
him  by  the  forelock,  if  at  all.  Insurance  is 
the  mathematical  value  of  your  time  if  you 
get  it,  and  the  measure  of  your  loss,  if  you 
lose  it. 

One  little  realizes  how  much  suspenders 
have  to  do  with  our  appearance  in  society. 
The  same  with  life  insurance  ;  it  is  an  extra 
brace  to  keep  the  family  together. 

Tears  are  Nothing  but  salt  water,  to  pre- 
serve a  fresh  grief,  we  suppose.  Insurance  is 
business,  —  genuine,  old-fashioned,  sixteen- 
ounce  precaution. 


DEFINITIONS  OP  LIFE  INSURANCE       13 

Life  Insurance  is  the  philanthropy  and 
beneficence  of  the  man  who  insures.  It  is  the 
organized  love  of  men  for  their  families,  the 
capitalization  of  affection,  the  prudence  of 
years,  secured  now,  the  riches  of  the  poor,  the 
security  of  the  rich. 

What  is  Thanksgiving  ?  A  delightful  medi- 
tation on  what  the  Lord  has  done  for  us. 
What  is  life  insurance  ?  A  delightful  medita- 
tion on  what  we  have  done  for  others. 

The  Best  Family  remedy,  because  it  works 
when  all  medicines  have  ceased  to  act,  or  have 
acted,  is  life  insurance. 

A  Dead  Lift  is  what  insurance  is.  It  takes 
hold  where  others  leave  off.  It  is  the  strength 
of  years  of  plenty  applied  to  the  weakness  of 
years  of  want. 

The  Correct  Idea  about  life  insurance  is 
safety  by  average :  Cost,  in  the  sense  of  a 
guarantee  of  savings  for  a  future  result ;  Profit, 
because  of  thrift  and  compound  interest. 

An  Acorn  is  a  seed,  a  promise  of  shade  and 
shelter.  Insurance,  like  an  oak,  is  oftentimes 
larger  than  the  man  who  planted  it. 


14      DEFINITIONS  OF  LIFE  INSURANCE 

Potential   Manhood :    Why   not   '  put   up ' 
some  of  your  labor  for  use  when  the  tree  with-     / 
ers  ?     That  is  life  insurance,  a  storage  battery 
that  will  work  when  the  dynamo  that  gave  it 
power  is  forever  still. 

Husbands  and  Sons  should  not  be  per- 
mitted by  their  wives  and  mothers  to  go  unin- 
sured. Insurance  is  a  cash  appraisement  and 
financial  acknowledgment  of  a  valuable  life. 

Insurance,  well  done,  is  the  greatest  comfort 
of  modern  times.  Realize  the  full  meaning  of 
the  word  ;  the  certainty  of  something  hoped  for  •  Y. 
and  a  danger,  half-feared,  averted,  a  combina- 
tion by  which  losses  are  turned  backward  and 
dark  clouds  are  made  to  show  their  silver 
lining. 

Angels  visit  us  on  every  sunbeam.  Fair- 
ies wait  on  us  with  every  flower.  Miracles  are 
commonplace,  compared  with  the  works  of 
nature.  Life  insurance  is  simply  an  intelligent 
advantage  over  natural  laws. 

For  Good  Insurance  you  should  have  three 
important  points.  First,  correct  principles; 
second,  the  same  maintained ;  third,  honest 
and  conservative  administration. 


DEFINITIONS  OP  LIFE  INSURANCE      15 

The  U.  S.  Siipreme  Court  has  decided  that 
the  beneficiaries  are  entitled  to  the  insurance 
done  in  their  name.  This  means  that,  no 
matter  what  may  be  a  man's  misfortunes,  the 
law  recognizes  the  value  of  his  chance,  if  he  > 
lives.  Insurance  pays  that  value,  if  he  dies. 
There  is  a  good  bit  of  food  for  reflection  in 
this. 

It's  a  fair  swap  of  lies  when  a  man 
tells  the  agent,  who  presents  life  insurance 
as  a  big  investment,  that  he  does  not  need 
it.  It  is  not  a  big  investment,  but  every  one 
needs  it. 

An  Endless  Belt  is  life  insurance,  which 
will  bring  back  all  you  put  on  it.  Its  value  in 
keeping  the  wheels  moving  and  equalizing  the 
strain  on  business  men  is  more  or  less  recog- 
nized, yet  not  so  fully  appreciated  as  it  should 
be  and  will  be. 

1  Selling  Liabilities  is  what  a  life  insurance  v 
company  does  when  it  writes  a  policy.  We 
believe  in  calling  things  by  their  right  names. 
Each  policy  is  a  debt  and  must  have  its  cor- 
responding asset,  else  it  is  deceptive.  Think 
of  this  when  you  are  asked  to  insure  at  large 
pecuniary  gain  to  yourself. 


1 6      DEFINITIONS  OF  LIFE  INSURANCE 

Common  Sense  teaches  that  life  insurance, 
like  other  property,  can  only  be  had  by  pur- 
chase. It  is  a  value  and  means  something. 
It  is  not  given  away,  and  cannot  be  cheaply 
obtained. 

A  Lease  of  Life,  if  advertised  for  sale, 
would  command  a  fabulous  price,  provided  its 
surety  could  be  made  apparent.  The  nearest 
approach  to  such  a  lease  is  an  insurance  of 
the  money  value,  the  productive  value  of  a 
life. 

Life  is  a  Chance.     Life  Insurance  is  a  dead 
Certainty. 

Trouble  with  Insurance,  The  trouble  with 
insurance  is  to  describe  it  so  that  people  will 
fathom  its  meaning.  Safety  when  danger  is 
hard  by  —  Relief  when  disaster  comes  — Value 
in  times  of  depreciation  —  Assets  when  liqui- 
dation is  imperative  —  Comfort  when  privation 
is  epidemic  —  Just  the  same  as  money  in  the 
bank  without  putting  it  there. 

Insurance  is  an  Addition  to  human  power. 
A  valuation  and  a  bid  for  unwrought  plans. 
A  priced  invoice  of  time  not  yet  arrived  nor 
certain  to  come;  a  selvage  instead  of  a  raveled 
edge. 


THE  LIFE  INSURANCE   AGENT 

Associations  like  this  (that  of  Boston)  are 
for  our  own  good,  and  by  that  token,  for  the 
good  of  the  public.  The  office  of  an  Associ- 
ation like  this  is,  first,  to  know  each  other ; 
second,  to  help  each  other;  third,  to  aid  the 
weak ;  fourth,  to  punish  the  dishonest.  The 
man  helps  himself  best  who  helps  others. 
The  best  agent  for  any  company  is  he  who  is 
intelligent  enough  to  admit  the  merits  of 
competition.  Association  in  a  body  like  this 
educates  all.  The  strong  will  wax  stronger  by 
the  exercise  and  development  of  the  lax  and 
unused  muscles  called  into  play  by  aiding  those 
less  favored  than  themselves.  Then,  by  their 
aid,  they  can  do  what  they  can  never  do  with- 
out it,  detect  the  mountebank  and  unprincipled 
practitioner.  Every  trade  has  bad-minded, 
bad-mannered,  bad-moraled  men  in  it.  Strive 
to  free  yourself  from  such,  and  guard  carefully 
the  interests  of  the  correct,  conscientious 
workers. 

Although  working  a  business  the  most 
beneficent,  one  that  appeals  to  the  sense  of 
duty  and  the  finer  instincts  of  men,  we  are 


l8  THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT 

working  for  pay.  We  have  it  in  temporal 
things ;  let  us  add  to  it  self-respect  and  the 
pride  which  conies  from  the  honorable  pursuit 
of  an  honest  calling,  and  from  association  with 
those  men  only  who  will  join  us  in  all  that  is 
right  and  be  bold  enough  to  reprove  us  when 
we  are  wrong. 

Who  Invented  Insurance  ?  I  don't  know ; 
but  the  agents  of  life  insurance  companies 
have  put  a  great  many  men  up  to  it. 

fixed  Facts  are  of  value  acccording  to  how 
they  are  fixed  and  who  fixed  them.  Life  in- 
surance is  a  fixed  fact  and  a  well  established 
agent  is  a  fixed  factor,  while  an  irresponsible 
agent  is  a  fact  fixer. 

//  is  Poor  Manners  to  be  impolite  to  a 
life  insurance  agent,  and  a  positive  iniquity 
to  neglect  life  insurance. 

Insurance  Agents  should  wake  up  the  peo- 
ple and  make  them  understand  that  there  is 
nothing,  absolutely  nothing,  equal  to  life  in- 
surance, for  family  safety  and  family  savings. 

"  Through  Covetousness  shall  they  with 
feigned  words  make  merchandise  of  you."  (2 
Peter,  ii.  3.)  There  is  a  terrible  responsi- 


THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT  19 

bility  resting  on  those  who  misinform  you  upon 
the  subject  of  life  insurance. 

Liars  Need  Good  Memories.  Truth  is  a 
matter  of  fact,  constant,  eternal.  Tell  things 
as  they  are,  and  you  will  need  no  memoranda 
to  help  you  remember  what  you  said. 

By  Their  Words  shall  ye  know  them.  If 
a  life  insurance  agent  talks  common  sense, 
listen  and  believe.  If  he  talks  investment, 
profits  and  things  hoped  for  but  not  seen,  it  is 
better  to  decline  with  thanks. 

Phenakistoscopic  estimates  are  made  in 
some  insurance  propositions,  in  which  the  fig- 
ures are  so  drawn  as  to  produce  the  appear- 
ance of  reality.  Use  should  not  be  made  of 
the  Phenakistoscope.  The  bargain  should  be 
an  old-fashioned  hand-to-hand  agreement,  — 
You  do  your  part  and  we  do  ours. 

An  Agent  Lost  a  client  because  he  would 
not  prove  beyond  a  reasonable  doubt  that,  if 
he  lived,  he  would  realize  six  per  cent,  com- 
pound interest  on  his  investment.  Thus  there 
are  men  who  will  not  protect  even  their  fami- 
lies unless  they  can  have  a  big  profit  on  it. 

Bacon     Wrote :   '  I  had  rather  believe  all 


20  THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT 

the  fables  in  the  Legend  and  the  Talmud  and 
the  Alcoran  than  that  this  universal  frame  is 
without  a  mind.'  If  Bacon  had  ever  solicited 
life  insurance,  he  would  have  had  doubts. 
There  is  no  subject  on  which  the  average  man 
exhibits  so  little  mind  of  his  own  as  life  in- 
surance. 


Inexact  Language  is  at  once  the  cause  and 
the  result  of  inexact  ideas.     Much  confusion    f 
and  misunderstanding  is  made  by  too  much 
talk  about  reserves,  surplus,  loading,  etc. 

A  dean,  Honest  Life  Insurance  Agent  can 
hold  up  his  head,  look  any  man  in  the  eye, 
and,  if  necessary,  like  William  Penn,  may  wear 
his  hat  in  the  presence  of  a  king. 

Common  Sense  has  a  place  in,  and  is  a 
basis  for,  all  business  rules.  Do  not  be  mysti- 
fied on  the  subject  of  life  insurance.  It  is  not 
a  scheme  for  making  money,  and  it  should  not 
be  so  represented.  You  put  in,  and  take  out 
a  policy,  and  you  will  yet  take  out  more  than 
you  will  put  in. 

"  Why  so  Many  Agencies  ?  "  some  one  asks. 
Why  so   many  life   insurance  agencies  ?^Be-     / 

cause  we  are  in  competition  with  death,  whose 

i  ' 

agencies   are   numberless    and  whose   agents 
never  sleep. 


THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT  21 

Is  Anybody  Pestering  you  with  life  insur- 
ance propositions  ?  If  so,  give  him  a  hearing. 
You  have  no  business  so  important  as  the  ^ 
solvency  of  your  estate  and  the  safety  of  your 
family.  Take  or  make  time  and  room  for  the 
Life  Insurance  Agent. 

Make  a  Semi-Lunar  incision,  penetrating 
the  integument,  aponeurotic  tissue  and  perios- 
teum ;  raise  the  flap  and  trephine  the  cranium ; 
remove  the  prejudice  that  has  existed  for 
years  ;  replace  the  flap.  Even  then,  some  men 
will  not  insure  their  lives  for  the  benefit  of 
their  families,  saying  that  they  can  take  better 
care  of  their  money  than  the  companies  can. 
Such  people  stand  in  their  own  light. 

He  Never  Does  It,     Why  is  the  man  "  who 
is  going  to  insure "  like  the  man  who  "  can  ^ 
drink  or  leave  it  alone  "  ?     He  never  does  it.** 
If  not  done,  it  may  be  done  until  it  may  not 
be  done.     That  is  to  say,  it  is  opportunity  un- 
til the  chance  is  gone  ;  then  you  miss  it. 

Consider  Bad  Investments,  how  they  cost ; 
they  save  not,  neither  do  they  earn  compound 
interest.  Solomon  in  all  his  wisdom  fell  short 
of  the  possible,  by  not  mentioning  insurance 
as  the  best  means  of  family  saving ! 


22  THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT 

We  make  the  Bricks,  you  furnish  the  straw. 
As  the  straw  is  to  the  brick,  so  is  your  part  to 
ours.  As  the  straw  is  to  the  brick,  so  is  the 
insurance  premium  to  the  policy.  No  straw, 
no  bricks.  Good  straw,  good  bricks. 

Keep  in  mind  that  the  great  factor  in  life 
insurance,    compound   interest,  works   all  the       x 
time,  day  and  night,  and  the  insurance  policy  * 
protects  every  minute.     No  cessation.     There 
is  no  forgetful  ness  about  a  Contract. 

The  Agent  and  the  Doctor,  ordinarily,  stand 
in  the  same  relative  position  toward  each  other 
as  the  man,  named  Cleveland,  who  joined  the 
"Home  Market  Club."  He  was  duly  voted  in 
and  qualified.  Later  on,  attention  was  called 
to  his  name,  which,  to  a  "Home  Market  Man," 
was  like  a  bogy  to  a  baby.  A  meeting  was 
called  and  the  gentleman  was  asked  to  attend. 
Fault  was  found  with  him  for  entering  the  club 
with  the  name  of  the  great  apostle  of  tariff 
reform.  He  insisted  that  he  was  not  to  blame 
for  his  name,  and  that,  being  duly  elected  a 
member,  no  one  need  take  up  valuable  time  in 
kicking.  The  case  was  finally  thoroughly  dis- 
cussed and  the  club  sent  him  its  resolution : 
"He  might  resign,  change  his  name  or  go 
to  thunder."  Ordinarily,  so  an  agent  stands 
with  the  doctor.  He  can  be  resigned,  get  an- 


THE  LIFE  INSURANCE  AGENT  23 

other  man,  or  travel  to  that  country  where  our 
kind  of  insurance  is  not  practiced,  where  death 
comes  not,  and  that  which  burns  is  never  con- 
sumed. 

The  Poet  and  the  Agent:  '  A  Poet  touched 
the  willing  keys  and  drew  forth  sweet  notes : 
Deep  chords  whose  tones  sublime  made  one 
forget  the  lapse  of  Life  and  Time.'  An  Agent 
taught  the  unwilling  mind  that  duty  is  the  com- 
mon lot,  that  Life  and  Time  are  capital  and 
must  be  guarded,  not  forgot.  Hence  Insur- 
ance. 


DO  WOMEN   LIKE  INSURANCE? 
WIDOWS   DO 

Opinion  varies  as  to  whether  the  objections, 
placed  by  many  women  in  the  way  of  proper 
life  insurance  on  the  lives  of  sons  and  hus- 
bands, arise  from  superstition,  ignorance,  or 
prejudice.  We  are  fairly  well  convinced,  for 
our  part,  that  this  uncertain,  not  to  call  it  un- 
friendly, attitude  of  women  is  in  part  owing  to 
their  inherent  commercial  disability,  and,  in 
greater  part,  even,  to  a  nervous  organiza- 
tion which  makes  it  hard  for  them  to  think  , 
with  equanimity  of  being  benefited  through 
the  death  of  those  whom  they  love.  Of 
course  life  insurance  should  find  its  most  pow- 
erful and  most  persistent  advocates  in  women, 
who,  with  their  children,  are  its  chief  beneficia- 
ries, whose  happiness  it  especially  protects. 
Legislation,  also,  has  emphasized  this  fact, 
the  companies  have  earnestly  advertised  it, 
and  agents,  by  a  sort  of  natural  impulse,  seek 
constantly  to  guard  their  welfare.  Now  that 
woman  herself  is  beginning  to  be  regarded 
from  a  membership,  as  well  as  a  beneficiary 
standpoint,  by  the  business,  there  is  hope  that 


"DO    WOMEN  LIKE  INSURANCE?"        25 

she  will  more  speedily  emancipate  her  objec- 
tions and  become  the  chief  and  most  persist- 
ent friend  and  advocate  of  an  institution 
which  exists,  not  wholly,  but  very  largely,  for 
her  peculiar  good. 

"  Do  you  Believe"  said  he,  "  that  love  can 
exist  without  jealousy  ?  "  She  :  "  Yes,  but  not 
without  insurance.  Love  aims  to  protect  and 
to  provide." 

A  Wedding  Present,  a  10,  15,  20,  and  25 
Year  Endowment  Insurance,  each  one  ar- 
ranged so  as  to  mature  on  a  wedding  anniver- 
sary, would  be  a  systematic  Savings  Bank, 
compound  interest,  affectionate  protection. 

What  a  Widow  can  do  with  Three  Thou- 
sand Dollars.  Fifteen  hundred  dollars  will  buy 
a  home.  Fifteen  hundred  dollars  invested  at 
four  per  cent,  interest  will  earn  enough  to  keep 
the  house  in  repair  and  pay  the  taxes.  Now 
this  is  not  affluence,  but  it  means  shelter  and 
independence.  This  can  be  certainly  secured 
at  the  slight  cost  required  by  insurance. 

The  One  who  killed  the  goose  that  laid  the 
golden  egg  was  no  more  foolish  than  she  who 
persuades  her  husband  to  avoid  or  abandon 
life  insurance  for  her  benefit. 


26       "DO   WOMEN  LIKE  INSURANCE?" 

A  Marriage  Certificate  would  not  be  out  of 
place  if  printed  on  the  back  of  a  life  insurance 
policy. 

$750  for  an  Engagement  Ring,  $25  for  a 
wedding  ring,  and  $i  for  plated  safety  pins 
for  the  baby  is  the  way  in  which  some  young 
folks  start  in  life.  This  is  contrary  to  the 
rules  of  economy,  taught  by  life  insurance. 

A  Vagrant,  on  trial  for  having  no  visible 
means  of  support,  entered  as  his  defense  that 
his  wife  was  a  dressmaker.  The  wives  of  those 
who  neglect  insurance  should  learn  a  trade. 

Widowhood  is  made  more  comfortable,  and 
,  •     in  some  cases  even  desirable,  by  life  insurance ; 
still  this  is  no  fault  of  the  system,  but  its  vir- 
tue. 

When  a  Young  Lady  begins  to  exhibit  an 
interest  in  the  arrangement  of  a  young  man's 
cravat,  his  bachelor  days  are  numbered.  It  is 
also  time  for  him  to  begin  to  think  about  life 
insurance. 

Let  No  False  Modesty  prevent  your  de- 
manding of  your  husband  a  reasonable  amount 
of  insurance  on  his  life,  payable  directly  to 
you  in  event  of  his  death.  It  is  your  right. 


"DO    WOMEN  LIKE  INSURANCE?"        2J 

The  Geometric  Sense  of  truth  is  more  faith- 
ful and  conveys  a  more  satisfactory  idea  of 
external  forms  than  the  eye  itself.  Therefore 
we  discover  a  more  sympathetic  appreciation 
of  life  insurance  when  we  are  placing  a  fortune  ^ 
into  a  widow's  hands  than  we  do  when  solicit- 
ing the  business. 

Will  your  Widow    dress  as  well  as  your    ^ 
wife  does  ? 

The  Wedded  State  would  be  much  more 
harmonious  if  a  woman  would  believe  less  of 
what  a  man  tells  her  before  marriage,  more  of 
what  he  tells  her  afterwards,  and  insist  on  a 
proper  and  reasonable  amount  of  life  insur- 
ance. 

Whimsical  Women,  freaky  and  odd,  oppose 
insurance  on  account  of  sentiment.  Do  you 
know  of  any  cases  where  life  insurance  proved 
beneficial  ?  Yes,  many  of  them.  Do  you  know 
of  any  where  harm  came  from  being  insured  ? 
No,  not  one. 

Patience  is  exhausted  in  the  case  of  a 
woman  who  is  so  heedless  as  to  postpone, 
discourage,  or  give  up  insurance.  Think  of  a 
wife  advising  surrender  of  a  policy  which  may 
save  her  from  the  street  or  the  poorhouse  ! 


28        "DO   WOMEN  LIKE  INSC/XANCB?" 

A  Joke  is  a  Joke,  but  leaving  a  woman  poor 
and  her  children  destitute,  as  a  result  of  the  r'' 
experiment  of  "insuring  yourself  "is  poor  wit 
and  lean  wisdom. 

Wives  of  Smart  Men  should  remind  them 
they  can  make  their  lives  secure,  and,  depart-    \/ 
ing,  leave  behind  them  something  solid,  some- 
thing sure. 

The  Law  gives  a  widow  one  third.  Life 
insurance  gives  it  all.  Often  its  three  thirds 
saves  the  other  third.  There  is  nothing  like 
life  insurance  for  family  savings. 

Women  damn  life  insurance  with  faint  and 
unwilling  praise.  Yet  thousands  are  now  liv-  ^ 
ing  in  comparative  comfort  because  of  it. 
They  ought  rather  to  form  societies  for  extend- 
ing its  influence  and  its  better  understanding. 
Not  to  do  it  is  wrong. 

Next  Year's   Widows  will  appreciate   the 
benefit  of  this  year's  life  insurance  payments.     K 
Men  come  and  go  ;  the  insurance  companies 
stay  and  pay. 

Will  the  Coming  Widow  work!  She  will 
have  to  if  left  destitute,  as  many  women  are 
by  willful  neglect  of  life  insurance. 


ARGUMENTUM   AD   HOMINEM 

The  Applicant  who  buys  insurance  upon 
reasonable  grounds  will  find,  upon  analyzing 
his  action,  that  it  rests  upon  the  purely  selfish 
consideration  of  a  probable  contribution  to  his 
own  happiness,  and  the  consciousness  that  he 
is  under  moral  responsibility  to  protect  his 
credit  and  dependents,  since  the  means  for 
now  doing  this  lie  wholly  within  his  reach. 
Yet  not  until  called  upon  and  strenuously  urged 
to  do  this,  will  mankind  in  general  respond  to 
this  demand  upon  their  moral  responsibility 
and  manly  conduct.  Upon  the  false  hope  of 
the  sufficiency  unto  itself  of  present  evil,  they 
thoughtlessly  pass  by  the  only  means  devised 
by  human  wisdom  for  making  certain  what 
otherwise  is  doubtful  and  insecure.  They  fail 
to  perform  the  strictly  moral  and  therefore 
obligatory  act  of  giving  permanency  to  the  pro- 
ductive value  in  their  lives.  But  the  determi- 
nation, through  study,  calculation,  and  experi- 
ence, of  the  equitable  charges  and  provisions 
for  the  practice  of  mutual  life  insurance,  has 
so  definitely  fixed  upon  every  man  this  grave 
responsibility  that  the  argument,  addressed 


30  ARGUMENTUM  AD  HGMINEM 

directly  to  his  own  interests  and  duty,  will 
always  be  of  paramount  importance  and  value 
to  the  solicitor,  if  used  with  judgment  and  dis^ 
cretion. 

In  the  Court  of  Conscience:  In  re  Misfor- 
tune v.  Widow  et  a?.,  Annuity  Reports,  p.  i, 
the  court  says  :  "The  burden  of  proof  is  on  the 
husband  and  father,  to  show  that  he  used  that 
degree  of  care  which  men  of  ordinary  prudence 
exercise  under  like  circumstances."  Where 
will  you  stand  under  such  a  ruling  ? 

"  The  Older  a  Man  gets,  the  more  difficult  it 
is  to  him  to  retain  a  believing  conception  that 
he  must  die."  (Elliot.)  Insurance  is  our  busi- 
ness and  your  duty. 

It  requires  more  Self-denial  to  do  your  duty 
without  insurance  than  with  it. 

Partnerships  involve  possibilities  of  loss  as 
well  as  of  profit.  Death  does  not  wait  for  the 
dissolution  of  a  firm.  Insurance  in  all  busi- 
ness enterprises  is  firmly  advised. 

The  Uninsured  are  in  no  more  peril  than 
the  insured,  but  their  families  are. 

The  Law  should  compel  those  who  do  not 


ARGUMENTUM  AD  HOMINEM  31 

insure  to  pay  a  special  tax  for  the  support  of 
the  widows  and  children  of  those  who,  having 
had  the  opportunity,  die  uninsured. 

Generous  to  a  Fault,  but  careless  of  and 
cruel  to  his  family,  is  the  man  who  fritters 
away  his  earnings  for  their  present  delight,  but 
deposits  no  savings  for  the  insurance  of  its 
continuance  hereafter. 

Look  in  the  Glass  and  learn  if  you  can  look 
yourself  squarely  in  the  eye.  If  you  have  a 
family,  but  no  insurance,  we  think  you  will  not 
like  the  reflection. 

//  isn't  Wicked  to  suppose,  is  it?  Sup- 
pose you  were  the  wife  and  she  the  husband, 
and  you  knew  what  thin  ice  he  was  skating 
on,  would  n't  you  advise  and  insist  on  insur- 
ance ? 

Get  killed  by  the  Cars.  Those  who  neglect 
to  insure  should  so  shape  matters  as  to  die  by 
accident,  thereby  leaving  a  hope  at  least  for 
the  family.  This  hope,  shared  by  and  with  an 
attorney,  may  become  a  verdict.  You  owe  at 
least  this  slight  precaution  to  your  family. 

There  is  no  Law  to  punish  the  man  who 
makes  first  his  wife,  second,  his  children,  third, 


32  ARGUMENTUM  AD  HOMINEM 

his  creditors,  carry  all  the  risk  of  his  untimely 
death.  Therefore,  though  your  moral  duty, 
you  can  do  as  you  like  about  insuring  your 
life. 

He  is  a  Bigot  who  will  not  insure  ;  he  is  to 
be  pitied  who  cannot  insure  ;  he  is  a  coward 
who,  having  given  hostages  to  fortune,  does 
not  insure. 

Bishop  Brooks  once  said  that  he  knew  of 
no  man  who  ought  not  to  have  his  life  insured, 
except  it  be,  perhaps,  "  The  Wandering  Jew." 
Even  he  should  provide  for  his  own  old  age. 

The  Man  who  neglects  or  fails  to  secure 
life  insurance  puts  a  dent  in  his  head  where  the 
bump  of  hope  should  be. 

Like  a  Stiff  Neck,  insurance  makes  a  man 
carry  his  head  up.  Anything  that  increases 
his  self-respect  is  good ;  better  is  that  which 
increases  his  self-reliance;  best  of  all  is  that 
which  does  both  and  demonstrates  his  value  in 
plain  ngures. 

Dedollarizing  Widows  is  the  name  we  give 
to  the  act  of  neglect  of  insurance.  It  is  not  a 
bad  name  except  to  those  who  cause  suffering, 
and  they  deserve  a  bad  name. 


THE  PLEASURES  OF  HOPE 

A   FABLE 

A  Sick  Man  was  visited  by  a  physician, 
correct  in  his  diagnosis  and  skillful  in  his  treat- 
ment of  disease.  His  opinion  was  that  the 
patient  might  recover  if  he  would  cease  from 
worry  and  surrender  his  mind  to  rest  and  free- 
dom from  care.  "  Oh,"  groaned  the  patient, 
"  I  am  troubled  for  the  future.  What  will  be- 
come of  my  family,  if  I  die  ?  "  An  Insurance 
Policy,  which  had  been  taken  to  oblige  a  friend, 
spoke  up  and  said,  "Keep  quiet  and  get  well, 
if  you  can  ;  if  not,  I  will  care  for  your  wife  and 
little  ones.  For  I  am  an  average  and  cannot 
die."  Then  the  sick  man  turned  his  face  to 
the  wall  and  grew  well.  The  physician  said  to 
himself,  when  he  rendered  his  bill,  "Insur- 
ance, and  not  medicine,  saved  him."  For  the 
physician  was  an  honest  man  and  he  said  (in 
his  mind),  "The  insurance  companies  are  my 
best  friends,  both  in  the  matter  of  medical  ex- 
aminations and  assistance  in  the  care  of  the 
sick." 


34  THE  PLEASURES  OF  HOPE 

Worrying  Done  to  order.  Nearly  all  the 
family  worrying  can  be  done  outside  of  the 
home  and  office  by  a  system  of  study  and  per- 
sistent investment  in  life  insurance. 

Language  is  Bankrupt  to  describe  the  full- 
ness of  life  insurance.  Thirty  per  cent,  of  a 
true  picture  of  its  benefits  cannot  be  impressed 
upon  your  mind  by  any  printed  statements. 
You  must  feel  its  security,  sleep  easy  in  its  all- 
sustaining  arms,  and  be  strengthened  by  the 
moral  courage  it  develops. 

There  's  Music  in  the  sighing  of  a  reed ; 
There  's  music  in  the  gushing  of  a  rill ;  There 's 
music  in  all  things,  if  men  had  ears  ;  There  's 
music  in  insurance  when  you  're  ill.  And  it  is 
essential  that  you  should  take  it  when  well. 

Dry  Jim-jams  or  business  horrors  can  be 
dispelled  by  a  timely  application  of  the  princi- 
ple of  life  insurance.  Only  those  who  have  it 
realize  the  luxury  of  a  well  arranged  line  of 
life  insurance. 

Spruce  Sawdust  is  said  to  be  an  excellent 
substitute  for  sand  in  making  mortar.  There 
is  no  substitute  for  sand  in  a  business  man. 
Insurance,  however,  puts  in  more  grit. 


THE  PLEASURES  OF  HOPE  35 

A  Rose-colored  World  is  certainly  pleasant, 
free  from  gloom,  and  suggestive  of  the  beauti- 
ful alone.  Why  cannot  every  man  possess  such 
surroundings  ?  It  is  lack  of  appreciation  and 
a  surplus  of  envy  that  breeds  much  misery. 
Brace  up.  Insure  your  life.  That  will  put  a 
different  tint  in  your  eye,  if  you  are  not  color- 
blind. 

Insurance  Men  alone  understand  iiow  much 
comfort  there  is,  and  self-satisfaction,  in  being 
insured.  It  is  a  big  anchor  cast  to  windward. 

They  say  that  a  bumble  bee  is  biggest 
when  first  born.  We  think  a  man  feels  biggest 
when  first  insured. 

Being  on  the  Wrong  Side  of  the  market  is 
disastrous.  Having  your  insurance  arranged 
on  the  right  side  of  the  grave  is  foresight. 
Prudence  now  brings  the  reward  of  security. 

You  will  feel  better  off  every  way,  if  you 
have  underneath  you  the  all -sustaining  arms 
of  life  insurance.  Insurance  boosts  a  man  a 
long  way  up  the  ladder  of  independence. 

Steps  were  made  for  those  without  wings. 
Insurance  is  a  step-ladder,  so  that  your  family 
may  reach  independence  if  you.  do  not  accom- 
plish it  for  them. 


PROCRASTINATION 

This  thief  of  time,  loss  of  opportunity,  sin 
of  omission,  old  cat  in  the  adage,  by  whatever 
name  you  please  to  call  it,  is  a  universal  vice. 
It  is  the  daughter  of  physical  and  mental  inac- 
tivity and  the  handmaid  of  laissez  faire.  It 
makes  "  I  dare  not "  wait  upon  "  I  will,"  and 
places  to-morrow  in  front  of  to-day.  Inde-  ,  / 
'V  cision,  chronic  inertia,  is  its  product,  general 
slough  of  despondency  its  environment,  and, 
finally,  it  is  the  chief  friction  of  reforms.  In 
history  procrastination  is  oftentimes  synony- 
mous with  compromise,  and  that  is  deferment 
of  the  day  when  forces  must  range  themselves 
according  to  the  inevitable  orders  of  the  laws 
by  which  they  are  governed.  In  the  case  of 
individuals,  themselves  small  worlds,  it  works 
the  most  dire  distress  from  start  to  the  end  of 
life.  For  to  see  and  to  seize  the  main  chance 
promptly  and  firmly,  that  is  ability,  —  that  is 
success.  In  insurance  it  produces  the  fatal 
blunder  of  delaying  immediate  provision,  and 
this  mistake  has  destroyed  the  happiness  and 
hopes  of  many  homes. 


PROCRASTINATION  37 

After  a  Fire  settlements  are  made  by  the 
records.  After  a  disaster  there  is  no  agent 
around  trying  to  "bore  you"  into  taking  a 
policy.  Even  the  most  anxious  for  business 
will  not  insure  your  house  if  it  smells  of  smoke, 
and  none  insure  the  lives  of  sick  men.  The 
insurance  office  is  open  for  those  who  are  well 
enough  to  get  there  and  smart  enough  to  get 
there  in  time. 

Putting  Money  in  the  Bank  regularly  is 
better  than  life  insurance  if  you  live.  As  few 
do  deposit  with  persistent  regularity  and  as 
some  do  not  live,  there  is  no  doubt  that  insur- 
ance is  the  better  and  immediately  safer  way 
of  accumulation. 

A  Curious  Fashion  has  come  into  vogue  in 
Paris.  In  all  the  cemeteries  metal  boxes  with 
a  slit  in  the  lid  are  placed  on  the  tombstone  to 
receive  cards  of  visitors.  There  will  be  no  life 
insurance  circulars  there,  and  yet  they  do  good 
if  they  are  heeded. 

No  Directory  of  any  city  can  be  perfect ; 
for,  while  it  is  hastening  to  publication,  some 
business  men  are  budding  and  some  are  pass- 
ing away.  This  suggests  insurance. 

The  Man  who  procrastinates  may  be  sorry 


38  PROCRAS  TINA  TION 

that  he  met  the  undertaker  before  the  insur 
ance  agent  overtook  him. 

A  Hot  Candlestick  melts  one  end  of  the 
candle,  while  the  other  is  more  slowly  wasted 
by  legitimate  use.  So  troubles  beyond  our 
reach  are  more  wearing  than  others.  Insur- 
ance keeps  the  light  burning  and  the  candle- 
stick cool. 

A  Cat  ran  under  James  Bradley's  feet, 
tripping  him  (James  Bradley)  so  that  he  fell 
heavily  and  never  regained  consciousness.  So 
far  as  learned  Mr.  Bradley  was  uninsured,  and 
no  responsibility  could  be  placed  on  the  cat. 

The  Man  who  waited  for  the  rates  to  come 
down  before  he  insured  has  already  lain  in 
Mount  Auburn  Cemetery  several  years.  His 
wife  makes  vests  and  his  children  are  scat- 
tered. He  had  his  own  way  and  they  must 
go  theirs.  It  was  in  his  power  and  he  had  the 
opportunity  to  insure. 

While  the  Free  Breezes  are  blowing  things 
your  way,  while  success  follows  success,  and 
everything  promises  a  golden  harvest,  then  is 
it  eminently  proper  time  for  you  to  barrel  up 
some  of  your  luck  or  enterprise,  and  insurance 
affords  the  means, 


PROCRASTINATION  3£> 

Sentimentally,  Many  Men  are  disposed 
towards  life  insurance  kindly,  but  they  don't 
attend  to  it.  The  result  is  the  same  as  in  the 
case  of  those  who  "did  n't  know  it  was  loaded," 
that  is  to  say,  destructive  to  others  and  no 
self-benefit. 

//  beats  the  Dutch  how  some  truly  bright 
men  will  wait  for  an  agent  to  tire  them  out 
before  they  will  act  in  the  matter  of  life  insur- 
ance. They  might  have  their  money  ticking 
away  at  compound  interest  instead  of  at  the 
risk  of  their  business. 

Count  That  Day  Lost,  whose  low  descend- 
ing sun  finds  you  with  health  impaired  and  no 
insurance  done  —  done,  not  talked  about. 


Putting  off  Insurance  is  like  waiting  for  a 
rising  river  to  run  by.  The  longer  you  wait, 
the  smaller  becomes  the  opportunity  to  cross. 

Men  in  their  Graves  are  there  to  stay. 
There  is  no  return  from  the  dead  to  correct 
mistakes  or  to  do  a  little  more  for  the  family. 
Insurance  must  be  attended  to  in  life. 


Ghosts  not  otherwise  engaged  can  make 
good  use  of  their  time  (or  eternity)  in  haunt- 
ing the  uninsured.  It  is  impossible  to  un- 


4°  PROCRASTINATION 

derstand  the  dullness  of  those  who  procras- 
tinate. 


An  Undertaker  was  accidentally  pushed 
into  an  open  grave,  struck  his  head  on  a  brass 
ornament  upon  the  coffin  of  the  body  he  was 
burying,  and  was  killed.  There  is  no  safety 
even  in  the  grave-yard. 


OLD   AGE 

Nicely  Balanced  are  the  forces  that  go  for 
action  and  progress  in  this  life.  Youth  and 
old  age  are  but  the  extremes  of  a  fixed  and 
indestructible  quantity  of  energy.  Youth,  for 
the  hope  there  is  in  it  of  future  work,  com- 
mands sympathy  and  receives  husbandry ;  but 
old  age,  sans  everything,  is  manhood  ceased 
from  grinding  and  being  ground,  settling  back 
into  the  dust.  Fortunate  were  it  for  many  an 
Anchises  in  this  world,  if  he  had  reared  up 
some  yEneas  to  bear  him  on  the  back  from 
the  sack  and  burning  of  his  little  Troy.  Not 
then,  in  his  later  years,  would  he  be  heard  ex- 
claiming with  Meliboeus  :  — 

"  Dear  Cottage,  wherein  I  was  born  !     Shall 
Another  in  conquest  possess  thee, 
Another  demolish  in  scorn  the  fields 
And  the  groves  where  I  've  wandered." 

FIELD,  Tr. 

But  deluded  by  hope  and  estranged  from  pru- 
dence by  a  seeming  security,  men  neglect  to 
provide  what  alone  can  make  old  age  comfort- 
able and  self-respecting ;  what  others,  if  at  all, 
may  grant  with  scant  courtesy  and  averted 


42  OLD  AGE 

looks.  The  observed  conditions  of  old  age 
often  and  touchingly  illustrate  this  sin  of  omis- 
sion in  youth.  For  life  insurance  has  long 
since  transferred  the  responsibility  for  its  pro- 
vision from  the  shoulders  of  filial  piety  to  the 
individual  himself. 

One  Third  of  Your  Time  is  spent  in  bed. 
That  is  why  endowment  insurance  is  so  profit-      / 
able.     It  grows  while  you  rest  and  sleep,  and 
attains  its  growth  at  once,  if  you  never  wake. 

An  Endowment  Policy   is  the  roof  of  the 
house  that  shelters  the   family.      The  owner   S 
may  creep  under  himself,  if  he  lives  to  pay  for 
it. 

Old  Time,  in  whose  banks  we  deposit  our 
notes,  Is  a  miser  who  always  wants  guineas  for 
groats ;  He  keeps  all  his  customers  still  in 
arrears,  By  lending  them  minutes  and  charg- 
ing them  years.  He  is  very  uncertain  of  dates 
falling  due,  And  a  note  against  others  may  be 
charged  up  to  you.  If  you  owe  the  old  miser 
and  have  pledged  your  endurance,  Just  keep  a 
good  margin  of  endowment  insurance. 

Many  old  Men  are  to-day  living  on  the 
value  of  their  life  insurance,  taken  years  ago, 
when  they  only  thought  of  the  welfare  of 
others. 


OLD  AGE  43 

Those  Who  Insure  remove  the  threatened 
danger  to  those  they  love,  smoothing  not  an- 
other's path  alone ;  they  scatter  roses  to  adorn 
their  own.  This  is  a  poetic  definition  of  en- 
dowment insurance. 

One  Misty  Moisty  Morning,  when  stormy 
was  the  weather,  I  chanced  to  meet  an  old 
man,  clothed  all  in  leather.  I  began  to  com- 
pliment, he  began  to  grin,  saying,"  I  Ve  a  ma- 
tured Endowment,  and  I  'm  just  going  to  take 
it  in."  Young  men  should  take  endowment 
insurance. 

One  Third  Paupers.  Statistics  show  that 
thirty  per  cent,  of  the  aged  are  paupers. 
What  an  argument  for  endowment  insurance. 

While  it  is  Investment  and  of  the  best  kind, 
we  approach  you  on  the  ground  of  protection. 
A  protecting  investment,  an  investing  protec- 
tion. Something  which  grows  all  the  time. 
Grows  bigger  when  you  grow  less. 

A  Promoter  is  a  man  who  sells  what  he 
has  n't  got,  to  a  man  who  does  n't  want  it. 
Insurance  guarantees  that  you  shall  have  that 
which  you  otherwise  might  not  get,  and  makes 
possible  an  impossibility. 


APPLIED   MATHEMATICS 

A  Certain  Man  said  to  himself :  "  Since  my 
watch  loses  ten  minutes  per  day,  I  am  saving 
time  at  the  rate  of  over  one  hour  per  week, 
and  thus  lengthening  my  life."  But  the  sun, 
and  not  his  watch,  regulates  the  time,  and 
works  by  law.  Of  such  an  application  of  math- 
ematics some  men  have  said:  "You  can  de- 
monstrate anything  by  figures,"  thereby  cata- 
loguing themselves  in  the  company  of  the  man 
with  the  slow  watch.  That  is  not  demonstra- 
tion, nor  proof.  It  is  false  reasoning,  tons  of 
which  sort  of  thing  have  been  supplied,  not  ap- 
plied, to  the  business  of  life  insurance  without 
other  effect  than  that  of  increasing  ignorance, 
intensifying  prejudice,  and  confusing  truth. 
The  business  owes  mathematics  much,  pa- 
tience in  research  more,  and  skillful  application 
most  of  all.  From  observation  and  applied 
mathematics  it  obtains  its  assumptions  at  least, 
if  not  its  practice,  and  from  the  same  source 
must  also  come  the  explanation  of  that  prac- 
tice. Think  of  Le  Verrier !  By  calculation 
and  study  only  he  discovered  the  planet  Nep- 
tune. Rising  from  his  table,  he  wrote  the 


APPLIED  MATHEMATICS  45 

Astronomer  Royal  at  Berlin  to  turn  his  glass 
on  a  certain  point  in  the  heavens,  and  "  There 
you  will  find  a  new  planet."  And  it  was  so. 
Fools  deride  what  they  cannot  comprehend, 
savages  worship  it,  and  wise  men  study  it  until 
understood.  Statistics  may  be  abused ;  but 
after  all  they  are  the  only  means  we  have  of 
measuring  comparative  results.  They  influence 
action,  because  they  suggest  action. 

Average  Luck?  Luck  is  the  opposite  of 
average.  Average  your  luck,  and  you  will  find 
you  have  had  none.  Insurance  is  an  average 
of  life,  or  what  is  the  nearest  we  can  come  to 
it,  an  average  of  its  value. 

Imagination  is  strangled  by  facts.  There 
is  more  or  less  misinformation  afloat  about  life 
insurance.  First  learn  what  it  really  is,  and 
then  take  some. 

Prefix  One  to  a  row  of  ciphers,  and  you  re- 
present the  value  of  one  insurance  policy  to 
many  an  estate.  Thus  oooo  is  by  prefix  made 
10,000.  Insurance  must  be  prefixed.  There 
is  no  coming  back  from  the  dead. 

Over  Sixty-Three  Thousand,  that  is  the  re- 
ported number  of  insane  people  in  the  United 
States.  This  makes  no  account  of  the  unin- 
sured. 


46  APPLIED  MATHEMATICS 

Beveled  Insurance,  having  a  slant  or  an 
inclination  from  a  right  line,  is  the  kind  of 
which  people  should  beware.  You  cannot  af- 
ford to  trust  the  welfare  of  your  family  to  any 
chances. 

//  is  stated  that  20,649  stitches  are  taken 
in  making  a  shirt,  and  fifteen  cents  is  the  re- 
ward for  the  labor.  Life  insurance  has  saved 
many  a  woman  from  a  life  of  toil.  How  is 
your  family  fixed  ? 

It  is  a  dry  Subject,  yet  full  of  interest.  In 
fact,  interest  is  the  vitality  of  the  compa- 
nies. Fortunate  are  they  who  understand  and 
apply. 

The  Japanese  Language  contains  sixty  thou- 
sand words.  A  beautiful  use  of  language  is 
that  which  conveys  a  message  of  love,  or  urges 
and  teaches  insurance,  which  is  essentially  a 
protection,  voluntary  and  unselfish. 

If  Columbus  were  alive  to-day,  and  if  his 
contract  of  April  17,  1492,  with  Ferdinand  and 
Isabella  were  sustained  by  the  courts,  he  would 
be  enjoying  an  income  of  about  $16,000,000  a 
year  from  the  bullion  product  of  the  western 
hemisphere,  to  say  nothing  of  his  one-tenth 
claim  for  the  pearls,  precious  stones,  and  gen- 


APPLIED  MATHEMATICS  47 

eral  merchandise  of  America.  If  certain  hus- 
bands had  lived,  certain  families  would  be 
better  fed  to-day,  to  say  nothing  about  lux- 
uries. We  teach  the  duty  and  value  of  in- 
surance. 

Not  one  Business  Man  in  thirty-three 
leaves  his  family  anywhere  near  money  enough  / 
to  continue  the  comforts  he  has  educated  them 
to  need  and  expect.  This  suggests  immediate 
action  on  their  part,  in  the  direction  of  life  in- 
surance. 

Once  in  Fifteen  Years  the  whole  valuation 
of  the  city  of  Boston  passes  through  the  Pro- 
bate Court,  and  ninety  per  cent,  of  the  estates  ^ 
settled  are  declared  insolvent.  Does  this  or 
does  it  not  point  to  life  insurance  for  a 
remedy  ? 

Theory  without  Practice  is  a  worthless 
commodity.  Practice  without  theory  is  worth 
about  fifteen  dollars  a  week.  When  both  are  ^/ 
well  combined  in  one  man  of  sound  judgment, 
the  combination  is  worth  up  to  $9,000  a  year, 
and  the  combination  is  worth  insuring. 

Ninety-Seven  Married  Men  out  of  every 
hundred  fail  to  leave  their  families  above  want 
at  their  death.  This  demonstrates  the  neces- 


48  APPLIED  MATHEMATICS 

sity  for  insurance.    The  results  of  insurance  in 
the  case  of  the  other  three  prove  its  value. 

The  Rate  of  Interest  on  mortgages  varies. 
If  interest  is  not  paid,  the  mortgage  is  fore- 
closed, and  the  home  is  lost.  The  rate  of  * 
insurance  is  less  than  the  rate  of  interest,  and 
its  payment  creates  or  saves  a  sum  to  cancel 
the  mortgage. 

"Having    to  die  to  win"  is   one   of  the 

mouldy  objections  to  life  insurance.     It  is  not 

funny,  nor  fair.     You  must  die,  and  why  not 
win? 

Rum  Bills  in  the  United  States  are  more 
than  three  times  the  amount  paid  for  life  in- 
surance. Tobacco  costs  more  also.  Life  in- 
surance should  at  least  have  honorable  men- 
tion in  the  family  budget. 


ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

"  IT  is  useless  to  spend  years  in  rediscover- 
ing mathematical  truths  which  the  De  Wits, 
De  Moivres,  Bernouillis,  and  Prices  of  the  past 
centuries  have  already  elaborated  and  given  to 
the  world."  (N.  Y.  Life  Report,  1868,  clxiii.) 
On  the  same  page,  from  which  this  is  quoted, 
Americans  are  rightly  credited,  not  with  the 
output  of  scientific  works  on  life  contin- 
gencies, but  with  "  leading  the  whole  world  in 
the  practice  and  adaptation  of  life  insurance 
to  the  wants  and  necessities  of  the  people." 
The  development  in  America  has  been  along 
strictly  practical  lines,  and  to  make  people  ap- 
preciate this  fact  has  been  the  work  of  the 
companies  and  their  solicitors.  Yet,  strange 
to  say,  the  one  medium,  the  daily  press,  which 
would  naturally  have  been  thought  to  be  of 
prime  value  in  arousing  public  interest  and  in- 
dividual action,  has  been  least  employed.  So 
that  even  to-day,  when  insurances  in  force  are 
counted  by  the  billions,  and  assets  by  the  hun- 
dreds of  millions,  there  yet  exists  a  popu- 
lar impression  that  life  insurance  is  a  mystery 
and  its  representative,  like  Harte's  Ah  Sin, 


50          ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

"  peculiar."  The  following  sayings,  like  all  the 
others,  were  impersonally  addressed  to  the 
public  through  the  daily  press.  They  were 
intended  to  strike  sparks  of  interest  on  the 
general  subject  of  life  insurance,  as  being  a 
clean  business,  free  from  speculation,  founded 
upon  mathematical  and  economic  concepts, 
intent  on  indemnifying  loss  by  death,  a  sure 
means  of  providing  for  old  age,  a  moral  duty, 
an  educational  force,  a  conservator  of  individ- 
ual and  business  credits,  and  a  social  factor  of 
the  utmost  value.  This  paragraphing  had  to 
perform  its  work  by  suggestion  and  not  by 
explanation  or  demonstration.  It  resulted  in 
creating  impressions,  wholly  free  from  the  ini- 
tial prejudices  which  some  forms  of  advertis- 
ing effect,  impressions  based  upon  sound, 
legitimate  ideas  upon  the  subject. 

Life  is  an  Effort  to  secure  a  season  of  lei- 
sure, a  respite  from  toil.  With  humanity  all 
bending  their  energies  in  this  direction,  very 
few  reach  the  goal  of  their  ambition.  Insur- 
ance, with  kindly  hand,  cannot  with  certainty 
land  you  there  unaided,  but  will  boost  hard  on 
the  high  steps. 

Suppose  there  was  no  life  insurance. 
What  would  people  do  who  live  out  all  they 
earn  and  only  save  by  being  insured  ? 


ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE          51 

What  Nonsense,  to  talk  of  going  without 
insurance  because  of  the  cost  ?  It  does  not 
cost.  It  saves.  It  does  what  you  cannot  do 
for  yourselves  (and  would  not  do  if  you  could). 
It  works  nights  and  Sundays.  It  protects  all 
the  time.  It  makes  men  smarter,  bigger,  bet- 
ter, richer,  —  and  women,  too. 

The  World  seems  greased,  as  Billings  sug- 
gested, for  the  occasion,  when  a  man  through 
some  mischance  begins  to  slip  backwards. 
Life  insurance  is  a  cleat  for  just  such  occa- 
sions. Everybody  needs  it  some  time,  and 
those  who  take  it  have  it. 

Counts  or  Cobblers  are  of  the  same  rank,  as 
classified  by  life  insurance,  and  can  be  insured 
at  the  same  price. 

The  Society  for  Prevention  of  Cruelty  to 
Children  should  start  right  by  an  earnest 
and  unprejudiced  appeal  to  all  parents  to  in- 
sure. Cruelty  leaves  off  where  insurance  com- 
mences. 

Trust  few  Men,  keep  your  follies  to  your- 
self, and  carry  a  good  and  proper  sum  of  life 
insurance,  so  that  your  shortcomings  may  be 
buried  with  you. 


52          ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

Men   insure  to  secure   to  others,  if  they     / 
die,  what  they  hope  to  provide  for  them,  if 
they  live. 

The  Greeks  and  Romans  measured  time  by 
the  Clepsydra,  from  which  water  dropped 
slowly.  Drop  by  drop,  opportunities  come 
and  go,  drop  by  drop  your  strength  wanes  and 
your  energy  wastes.  Drop  into  some  good 
insurance  office,  be  insured,  and  let  the  Clep- 
sydra drip,  as  it  is  then  at  work  for  you  on 
compound  interest. 

//  may  seem  strange  that  companies 
should  advertise  as  a  matter  of  business,  when 
the  benefit  is  all  on  your  side.  It  is  true, 
however,  that  life  insurance  benefits  those 
who  live,  as  well  as  those  who  die.  Every  one 
is  a  winner,  as  can  be  made  plain  by  careful 
analysis  of  the  system. 

The  Man  who  denies  the  benefits  of  Life 
Insurance  and  assumes  that,  because  he  goes 
without -it,  he  is  insuring  himself,  may  thank 
his  lucky  stars  that  the  fool-killer  is  busy  else- 
where. 

Most  Squirrels  keep  two  or  three  stores  of 
food.  Wood,  the  Naturalist,  speaks  of  these 
reserve  stores  as  provided  for  exigencies. 


ADVERTISING   LIFE  INSURANCE         S3 

Some  folks  call  thrift  luck.     We  call  it  insur- 
ance. 

Luther's  Will  read  :  "  I  have  neither  house, 
land,  nor  money  to  leave  behind  me.  Thou 
hast  given  me  wife  and  children,  whom  I  now 
restore  to  Thee ;  Lord,  nourish,  teach,  and  pre- 
serve them,  as  Thou  hast  me."  Some  people 
consider  insurance  as  a  defiance  of  Providence. 
Not  so. 

It  is  a  Compliment  to  be  solicited  to  insure. 
It  is  proof  that  some  one  thinks  you  are  of 
some  value  and  use  in  the  world.  You  may 
rest  assured  that,  if  you  are  not,  life  insurance 
companies  do  not  want  you. 

Don't  misconstrue,  misunderstand,  misap- 
ply, or  misbelieve  life  insurance.  Take  it  as  it 
is,  no  mystery.  Warts  and  all,  it  is  still  far 
ahead  of  anything  else  for  savings  and  protec- 
tion. 

You  may  not  love  your  family,  but  you 
might  be  polite  enough  to  insure  for  their 
benefit.  That  much  you  owe  them. 

A  Citizen  "was  hung  during  the  reign  of 
Edward  IV.  for  saying  that  he  would  make 
his  son  heir  to  the  crown.  To-day  men  are 


54          ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

applauded   for   providing  for   their    children. 
The  surest  way  is  life  insurance. 

Keeping   rich  is    frequently  harder    than 
getting   rich.      Many   a   man   loses   in   three    *^ 
months    the    accumulations    of    thirty    years. 
That  is  why  you  should  insure. 

No  Insurance  is  good  until  something  hap- 
pens. Then  is  the  time  when  the  smart  ones 
who  can  "  take  better  care  of  their  money  than  / 
the  companies  can  "and  the  ones  who  "insure 
themselves,"  find  their  level.  Those  who  deal 
with  good  insurance  are  sure  of  their  deal 
later  on. 

Answer  to  Widow  B.  "  The  fact  that  your 
husband  intended  to  insure  is  of  value  only  as 
a  sacred  memory.  Corporation  sorrow  would  */ 
starve  a  goat.  Your  need  for  .money  is  ad- 
mitted, but  the  company  can  pay  you  nothing, 
because  your  husband  was  not  in  it." 

Every  solid  Structure  is  the  realization  of 
somebody's  imagination.  Air  castles  are  the 
shadows  of  coming  events.  Brains  count,  and  / 
thought  is  real  property  in  embryo.  There- 
fore thinkers,  investors,  men  of  learning,  all 
who,  with  continued  life,  can  produce,  have 
the  chance  to  insure  the  value  of  their  future 


ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE         55 

labor  like  real  ships  and  houses.     Life  insur- 
ance aids  this  chance. 

Don't  work  with  dull  tools.  Don't  tinker 
with  untried  schemes  of  life  insurance.  If 
your  life  is  worth  insuring,  and  it  probably  is, 
do  it  safely. 

A  Fixed  Fact  is  of  value  according  to  its 
bearings  in  the  case  and  who  fixed  it.  A  fact 
fixed  is  liable  to  have  fixed  factors  which  are 
deceptive  in  insurance  calculations.  Insur- 
ance takes  things  as  they  are,  and  makes  the 
best  of  them  for  your  benefit. 

A  Dead  Man    works  a   long  time   after     > 
death,  if   insured.      For   thus,  his   family  re- 
ceives the  wages  he  did  not  live  to  earn. 

Some  Business  Men  discourage  clerks  from 
insurance,  because  they  fear  they  will  want 
more  pay.  A  clerk  who  has  enough  self-valu- 
ation to  insure,  and  saves  by  so  doing,  is  the 
one  who  sets  his  own  price  and  gets  it. 

A  Grandmother  called  to  see  if  she  could 
insure  for  the  benefit  of  her  grandson,  twenty- 
four  years  of  age,  who  did  not  "get  along  very 
well,  and  was  mostly  dependent  on  her  for 
support."  (She  kept  boarders.)  We  advised 


56         ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

her  to  buy  an  annuity  for  herself  and  to  stop 
the  young  man's  rations,  and  see  if  he  could  n't 
get  along  better  and  further  on  his  own  ac- 
count. Instead  of  receiving  the  suggestion 
kindly,  as  was  intended,  she  said  she  would 
go  to  some  Benefit  Association,  as  her  grand- 
son told  her  "the  regular  companies  were  no 
good  any  way." 

A  Merchant  assigns  the  bread  and  butter 
of  his  children,  their  education  and  support, 
the  shelter  of  his  wife,  her  fuel  and  clothing, 
by  neglect  of  life  insurance.  Is  it  wise  to 
have  these  duties  subject  to  foreclosure  by 
death  ? 

Life  is  but  Air  that  yields  a  passage  to  the 
whistling  sword  and  closes  when  "'tis  gone."  ^ 
Yet  it  is  real  property,  because  it  is  produc- 
tive.     Keep  well  insured,  and  let  the  sword 
whistle. 

The  Good-night  Kiss  to  the  baby  in  the  cra- 
dle will  be  more  hearty  and  self-satisfying  if 
sweetened  with  the  resolve,  backed  up  by  ac- 
tion, to  always  keep  insured  for  her  benefit 
and  protection. 

The  Party  of  the  first  Part  agrees  with 
the  parties  of  the  second  and  third  part  well 


ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE         57 

and  truly  to  perform  sundry  and  divers  things,    ^ 
etc.    Suppose  said  party  dies  ?   There  is  where 
insurance  steps  in. 

If   You  owned  a  Goose  that   laid  golden 
eggs,  would  n't  you  insure  her  if  you  could  ? 

Financial  Diplopia  is  a  disease  where  a 
person  sees  a  profit  two  or  more  times  larger 
than  naturally,  or,  by  good  reasoning,  ought  to 
exist.  It  is  contagious,  that  is,  is  transmitted 
by  contact  between  persons  who  have  some-  I 
thing  to  sell  and  those  whose  systems  are 
wrong  from  a  chronic  disease  to  get  something 
for  nothing.  In  any  matter  of  investment  or 
savings  (especially  Life  Insurance,  which  is 
both),  a  healthy  mind  is  a  great  advantage. 

Fire  Insurance  is  an  acknowledged  factor 
in  ordinary  business  affairs.  The  mind  that 
directs  is  as  valuable  as  the  mill  and  machin-  , 
ery  that  executes.  Brains  cannot  be  rebuilt, 
nor  can  a  substitute  for  lost  experience  be  re- 
covered. Life  insurance,  then,  is  even  more 
necessary  than  fire  insurance. 

After  Dryden  :  Happy  the  man  and  happy 
he  alone,  He  who  can  call  to-day  his  own  ;    ^/ 
He,  who  secure  within  himself  can  say,  To- 
morrow do  thy  worst,  for  I  insured  to-day 


58          ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

The  Men  who  work  are  the  ones  we  wish 
to  insure.  Life  insurance  is  not  for  retired 
men,  for  has  beens,  but  for  those  who  are. 

Incorporate  Yourself.  Capitalize  your  skill 
and  power.  Corporations  outlive  individuals. 
Life  Insurance  will  grant  you  a  charter. 

The  Alchemist  gave  up  his  search  for  an 
universal  solvent  when  asked  in  what  vessel 

• 

he  would  keep  it,  when  found.    So  time  is  idly 
spent  in  search  of  a  substitute  for  insurance. 

Intense  Mourning  is  voted  vulgar  in  "  re- 
fined circles."  Intense  grief  is  also  considered 
"low."  It  is  a  wonder  that  the  members  of 
"refined  circles"  do  not  banish  death  altogether, 
since  it  is  an  old  fashion  indulged  in  by  the 
very  poorest  and  most  unrefined.  Could  this 
be  done,  the  life  insurance  companies  would 
cease  business  and  divide  their  large  holdings 
among  their  members.  Until  that  time  comes, 
its  security  is  yours  to  command. 

If  You  are  uninsured,  don't  prosecute  any 
one  who  calls  you  a  fool.  The  evidence  is 
probably  against  you. 

A  short  Yardstick  does  not  cheapen  the 
cloth.  It  is  a  waste  of  time  to  try  to  find 


^ 


ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE         59 

cheap  life  insurance.  That  article  is  out  of 
the  market.  To  be  well  insured,  one  must 
pay  the  proper  cost  exactly  as  in  other  things. 

"Fortune  is  a  Fickle  Dame"  because  man- 
kind is  fickle ;  for  few  of  us  possess  the  knack 
or  have  the  staybone  in  the  back,  to  keep  suc- 
cess in  pickle.  Insurance,  pound  for  pound, 
with  effort,  will,  however,  preserve  your  es- 
tate. 

You  cannot  always  keep  secret  the  neglect 
of  life  insurance.  It  always  comes  out  when 
a  man  is  mean  to  his  family. 

The  Arab  never  leaves  his  home,  but  takes 
it  with  him.  Many  men  die,  leaving  nothing, 
practically  taking  the  family  home  with  them. 
For  this  reason  a  proper  application  of  life  in- 
surance is  constantly  urged. 


A  Bag  of  Gold  is  no  price  for  a  head  full 
of  brains  ;  but  it  will  work  for  the  family  when 
the  head  withers  and  dies. 


Insurance  can  be  of  no  use  to  you  in  a 
post-mortem  capacity  unless  you  give  it  the 
order  now. 

You  can  teach  your  sons  no  better  lesson 


60          ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

than  that  of  thrift  and  economy,   suggested, 
encouraged,  and  enforced  by  life  insurance. 

A  healthy  Partner,  who  understands  the 
business,  should  be  insured  by  the  wealthy  one 
who  furnishes  the  money. 

Self-Denial  is  needed  to  maintain  life  insur- 
ance. Women  should  know  and  appreciate  the 
love  and  foresight  which  prompts,  and  the  true 
manliness  which  earns  and  pays  for  their  pro- 
tection. 

The  "Rich  "  are  swapping  places  with  the 
"  Poor  "every  day.  In  truth,  nothing  is  certain 
in  these  times,  but  gilt-edged  life  insurance. 

Little  Children  show  by  their  dress  and 
behavior  the  care  they  receive  at  home.  Little 
orphans  show  by  their  condition  whether  or 
not  their  parents  had  the  wisdom  to  insure. 
Sometimes  it  is  put  off  a  little  too  long  for  the 
welfare  of  the  family. 

Strike  an  Average  of  the  business  men  you 
have  known  for  fifteen  years,  and  how  much 
are  they  worth  ?  A  good  many  could  not  stand  » 
up  long  enough  to  be  counted,  if  it  were  not 
for  the  all-sustaining  arms  of  life  insurance 
which  some  enterprising  agent  thrust  under 


ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE         6 1 

them  years  ago,  when  they  were  beginners  in 
their  line. 

You  will  be  gone  a  long  time  when  you  go 
for  good,  and  the  family  will  require  three 
meals  daily  just  the  same  as  now. 

The  only  Bread-fruit  Tree  which  grows  in 
this  climate  is  life  insurance.  Its  fruit  is  what 
it  bears,  and  the  more  it  bears  the  more  it 
leaves.  Will  you  cultivate  it  ? 

Many  rich  Men,  so-called,  if  they  should 
die  this  week,  would  not  leave  a  cent  for  their 
families.  Do  you  see  the  point  ? 

The  worst  Insurance  is  that  which  is  never 
taken  ;  the  best  insurance  is  that  which  is  done, 
—  done,  not  talked  about. 

With  Brains  on  top  and  insurance  under- 
neath, any  man  can  place  himself  in  any  posi- 
tion attainable  by  human  effort. 

People  well  off  break  down,  trying  to  get 
rich.  Swapping  investments  and  financiering 
for  higher  rates  of  interest  has  doughed  the 
cake  of  many.  Insurance  has  its  place  in  the 
family  and  business,  economy,  and  should  head 
the  list. 


62          ADVERTISING  LIFE  INSURANCE 

The  Man  who  cuts  his  own  nose  off  to 
spite  his  face  is  a  wise  man  compared  with 
him  who  neglects  life  insurance  on  account  of 
some  prejudice  or  superstition. 


THE  USE  OF   QUOTATION 

ADROIT  use  of  quotation  possesses  the  three- 
fold merit  of,  first,  finding  for  one's  own 
thoughts  a  garment,  ready  made  and  in  the 
best  of  style ;  secondly,  of  stamping  on  them 
the  courtly  influence  of  precedent,  and,  finally, 
often  its  chief  value,  of  thus  using  another's 
reputation  to  introduce  our  own  infant  notions, 
which,  unaided,  would  otherwise  make  but  a 
sad  and  uninteresting  debut.  Besides  all  this, 
the  careful  use  of  other  men's  ideas  bestows 
upon  the  writer  or  speaker  the  reputation  of 
being  read  and  thoroughly  up  in  his  subject, 
and  that,  of  course,  gives  greater  authority  to 
his  own  utterance.  It  is  also  agreeable  to  the 
minds  of  readers  and  listeners  to  detect  for 
themselves  points  of  approach  and  divergence 
in  the  ideas  presented ;  for  that  affords  their 
own  thoughts  a  sort  of  playful  activity  which 
is  incited  in  no  other  way.  Lincoln's  famous 
saying :  "  You  can  fool,"  etc.,  has  been  used  a 
thousand  times,  and  applied  with  every  possi- 
ble variety  of  turn,  but  it  rarely  falls  within 
sound  of  the  gong,  and,  with  equal  rarity,  fails 
to  receive  its  deserved  recognition.  Once,  in- 


64  THE  USE  OP  QUOTATION' 

deed,  three  speakers  came  to  a  hall,  where  an 
important  meeting  was  in  progress,  each  armed 
with  this  trip-hammer,  furnished  by  the  great 
president.  The  blank  look  that  o'erspread 
the  pale  cast  of  thought  in  the  other  two  when 
the  first  snapped  it  off  was  very  entertaining ; 
but  its  grip  on  their  own  minds  was  so  firm 
withal  that  each  with  renewed  apologies  and 
rising  accentuation,  "begged  permission  to 
quote  again  that  saying  which  my  friend  on 
my  left  has  but  just  now  so  felicitously  ap- 
plied." This  suggests,  for  some  unknown 
reason,  that  one  of  the  substantial  arguments 
used  by  the  advocates  of  the  Ancient  Classics 
has  always  been  that,  without  such  instruction, 
it  will  be  impossible  to  fathom  the  meaning  and 
much  of  the  beauty  of  English  Literature. 
The  apt  quotation  has  its  place  everywhere, 
and  is  everywhere  welcomed,  in  the  court  as  a 
rule  for  action  ;  in  the  pulpit  as  a  ground  for 
belief ;  in  insurance  as  a  guide  for  thought. 

John  Wanamaker,  in  giving  his  three  rea- 
sons for  being  insured  over  $1,500,000,  says : 
"I  take  time  by  the  forelock,  and  in  the  day  of 
prosperity  prepare  for  the  day  of  trial,  whether 
it  be  mental,  physical,  or  financial."  These  rea- 
sons being  valid,  the  companies  yielded  to  his 
solicitation,  and  granted  the  insurance. 


THE   USE  OF  QUOTATION  65 

"  The  Man  who  dies  uninsured  commits  a 
social  crime  hardly  distinguishable  from  that 
of  a  man  who  dies  a  defaulter  to  public  office, 
and  leaves  his  friends  to  pay  his  bond  out  of 
their  hard  earnings."  (Foss.)  This  is  harsh, 
but  correct  classification. 

"Gentle  Prevarication,  chiseled  in  enduring 
stone,"  is  the  language  in  which  Bill  Nye  de- 
scribes the  custom  of  inscribing  on  gravestones 
greater  virtues  than  were  possessed  by  the  de- 
ceased. Many  a  man  has  lived  his  life  so  self- 
ishly that  his  family  were  beggars  before  his 
burial.  Insurance  cannot  cure  bad  habits,  but 
it  prevents  some,  and  atones  for  others. 

"  A  Missourian  died  the  other  day  from  hav- 
ing gorged  himself  with  veal  and  hard  cider. 
He  was  a  member  of  seven  societies,  all  of 
which  passed  the  customary  resolutions,  throw- 
ing the  entire  blame  for  his  removal  on  divine 
Providence."  (Chicago  Tribune.)  The  friends 
will  pass  the  hat  for  the  family,  and  the  world 
rolls  on  just  the  same.  Meanwhile  the  pru- 
dent and  thoughtful  insure  their  lives. 

"/  believe  that  next  to  the  agency  of  the 
organization  of  the  Christian  religion,  this 
agency  of  life  insurance  has  done  the  most 
good  for  the  general  welfare  of  common  human- 


66  THE   USE  OP  QUOTATION 

ity  and  of  our  states  and  cities."  (Hon.  Stew- 
art L.  Woodford.)  We  accept  the  compliment 
to  all  agencies  in  general.  For  we  think  that 
it  is  a  true  exception  to  the  rule,  laid  down  by 
the  German  poet,  Lessing,  "  a  compliment  is 
what  we  always  bring,  when  we  bring  nothing." 

On  his  Death  Bed,  Alexander  Pope  said, 
"There  is  nothing  meritorious  but  virtue  and 
friendship."  This  was  an  unconscious  tribute 
from  the  great  poet  to  life  insurance,  which  is 
both  virtue  and  friendship. 

"It  is  Good  Workmanship  to  induce  a  man 
to  insure  his  life  after  thoroughly  convincing 
him  that  it  is  his  duty  to  insure  for  the  protec- 
tion of  his  family,  and  to  fully  inform  him  in 
advance  of  the  terms  and  nature  of  the  con- 
tract which  he  is  induced  to  enter  into.  More- 
over, it  is  good  workmanship  not  to  load  a  man 
up  with  more  insurance  than  he  can  possibly 
carry.  It  is  bad  workmanship  to  fill  the  insur- 
ant up  with  the  idea  that  his  policy  will  cost 
him  practically  nothing ;  that  it  is  to  his  advan- 
tage to  invest,  rather  than  his  duty  to  insure ; 
that  he  has  entered  into  speculation  instead  of 
having  performed  a  solemn  duty.  In  other 
words,  the  agent  is  a  fvery  poor  workman, 
who  misrepresents  or  deliberately  lies."  (The 
Chronicle.)  This  quotation,  the  best  of  advice, 


THE   USE  OP  QUOTATION  6j 

in  the  briefest  form  that  can  be  given  to  life- 
insurance  men,  I  prefixed  with  these  words  in 
an  advertisement :  "  We  do  good  work." 

Benjamin  Greenkaf  says  :  "  Subtraction  is 
taking  one  number  from  another  to  find  the 
difference."  When  one  member  of  a  family  is 
subtracted,  the  remainder  find  the  difference  in 
loss  of  support.  Hence  insurance. 

At  a  Dinner  of  Booksellers  in  London, 
Rider  Haggard  eulogized  life  insurance  as  "the 
one  doctrine  which  in  days  to  come  will  uni- 
versally prevail  and  work  a  cure  for  many  a 
human  ill."  This  is  correct,  but  life  insurance 
already  supplies  the  only  omission. 

A  Famous  Philosopher,  threatened  with 
death  by  a  tyrant,  said,  "  You  may  kill  me,  but 
you  cannot  hurt  me."  He,  also,  like  Nero, 
already  mentioned,  had  the  self-reliance  of  the 
well  insured. 

"  Commodore  Vanderbilt  said  to  me  once  that 
any  fool  could  make  money,  but  it  took  a 
smart  man  to  keep  it.  That  saying  is  an 
axiom  of  our  civilization.  The  only  hope, 
then,  for  the  fools  is  that,  when  in  prosperity, 
they  may  be  induced  to  take  out  insurance 


68  THE     USE   OF  QUOTATION 

policies."    (Chauncey  M.  Depew.)  Truth  is  its 
own  commentator. 

"  Those  who  make  no  mistakes  make  no- 
thing." (Hon.  E.  J.  Phelps.)  Insurance  covers 
a  multitude  of  business  errors. 

"  Can  a  Christian  man  rightfully  seek  life 
insurance?"  asked  Henry  Ward  Beecher. 
Then  he  answered  it  by  saying, "  Can  a  Chris- 
tian man  justify  himself  in  neglect  of  such  a 
duty  ? "  In  morals,  the  obligation  to  insure  in 
protection  of  dependents,  or  as  provision  for 
old  age,  is  axiomatic. 

Thomas  Carlyle  remarked  that  England's 
thirty  millions  of  people  are  mostly  fools. 
The  sixty-five  millions  of  the  United  States 
are  not  all  fools ;  for  many  of  them  are  in- 
sured and  more  are  thinking  of  it. 

King  James  called  for  his  old  shoes,  be- 
cause they  were  easiest.  Protection  and  pro- 
vision, without  pinching,  is  the  secret  of  the 
great  popularity  enjoyed  by  the  old  companies, 
engaged  in  life  insurance. 

"  Lightning  is  the  Wit  of  Heaven"  said  Syd- 
ney Smith.  That  depends  on  how  it  strikes 
you.  Insurance,  however,  has  but  one  defini- 


THE   USE  OP  QUOTATION  69 

tion,  —  indemnity,  security.      It  is  protection 
against  an  overwhelming  loss. 

Said  Daniel  Webster:  "Suicide  is  confes- 
sion." So  going  without  insurance  is  confes- 
sion of  either  utter  worthlessness  or  lack  of 
ordinary  business  sense. 

"  Doctor  Guthrie  let  the  people  laugh  at  his  \ 
blue  stockings  and  cotton  umbrella,  and  he 
often  walked  when  he  would  have  preferred  a 
cab,  so  that  he  might  pay  the  price  of  an 
insurance  on  his  life  for  the  benefit  of  his 
family." 

Atlanta,  Ga.  (Telegram)  :  "Jake  Morris,  of 
this  city,  while  returning  from  a  Masonic  Lodge 
this  evening,  died  almost  instantaneously  from 
excessive  palpitation  of  the  heart,  brought  on 
by  a  fit  of  laughter.  He  was  insured  for 
$24,000."  This  is  no  laughing  matter,  but, 
speaking  seriously,  is  n't  life  insurance  a  good 
thing  ? 

A  Pittsburgh  Child  defined  a  rope  as  a  "fat 
string."  Life  insurance  is  a  man's  value, 
hitched  to  the  end  of  his  rope. 

Canute,  the  great  King,  wet  his  feet  in  the 
tide  to  rebuke  his  flattering  courtiers.  Kings 


70  THE   USE  OF  QUOTATION 

must  move  on  or  drown.  There  is  no  royal 
control  over  natural  laws.  Insurance  is  an 
application  of  natural  laws  for  the  purpose  of 
equating  over  all  the  misfortune  which  would 
otherwise  assail  but  one. 


George  IV.,  history  informs  us,  secured  his 
creditors  by  insuring  his  life  in  their  favor. 
At  his  death  the  sum  had  increased  by  profits 
to  ^"640,000  ($3,200,000),  which  even  more 
than  sufficed  to  pay  his  debts  in  full.  Perhaps 
insurance  can  serve  you,  also. 

"Naomi's  Husband  died,  and  she  was  left, 
and  her  two  sons.  And  Mahlon  and  Chilion 
died  also,  and  the  woman  was  left  of  her  two 
sons  and  her  husband."  Ruth  i.  3-5. 

Such  things  happen  every  day,  now  as  then, 
and  there  is  no  prevention.  Insurance,  how- 
ever, saves  some  from  walking  back  to  the 
land  of  Judah  for  bread. 

The  Prophet  Gad  gave  David  choice  of 
three  scourges,  —  famine,  seven  years  ;  three 
years'  defeat,  or  three  days'  pestilence.  The 
families  of  those  who  neglect  insurance  have 
no  choice.  They  must  take  what  comes. 


THE   HUMOR  OF  IT 

EVERYBODY  is  clamoring  for  a  hearing.  If 
only  I  can  get  my  case  before  the  Upper 
Court,  says  the  lawyer;  if  only  I  can  obtain 
an  audience,  says  the  diplomat ;  if  only  I  can 
place  it  clearly  before  their  eyes,  says  the  in- 
ventor ;  if  only  I  can  make  him  hear  me,  says 
the  agent.  It  is  the  same  story  everywhere,  — 
a  trying  to  interest  some  one  else  in  what  in- 
terests you,  and  then  making  him  see  it  with 
your  eyes.  Failure  to  hit  upon  the  right  ma- 
terial or  right  method  of  crossing  to  the  other 
man's  side  means  break  down,  and,  if  the 
height  be  great  or  the  stream  deep,  it  may 
mean  drowning.  The  working  tools  of  the 
earnest  solicitor  vary  with  his  company,  his 
own  ability,  and  his  clientage.  The  ratio  de- 
lights one  ;  the  beneficiary's  letter,  another  ; 
grand  summations,  a  third ;  a  well  drawn 
blank  form,  a  fourth;  invidious  criticisms,  a 
fifth ;  peculiar  policies,  a  sixth ;  the  State 
Reports,  those  necrologies  of  business  results 
and  cemeteries  of  yearly  statements,  a  seventh ; 
and  so  on,  down  the  list.  But  a  favorable 
judgment  is  wanted  to  supplement  a  hearing, 


72  THE  HUMOR  OP  IT 

the  latter  being  a  condition  precedent  only. 
Whatever,  therefore,  creates  public  interest  in 
insurance,  without  prejudice,  has  its  place. 
Whatever  does  this  tends  to  diminish  the  costs 
of  acquiring  new  business,  now  great  because 
of  the  public's  very  hesitancy  to  recognize  its 
worth.  The  gentle  writer,  in  adding  to  this 
interest,  may  lose  caste  for  owlishness,  but 
then,  Attic  salt  spices  all  forms  of  expression 
and  attracts  adherents  where  Breotian  dullness 
falls  flat.  To  advertise  the  whole  business 
and  yet  make  sure  of  your  share,  that  is  im- 
personal advertising  made  personal.  "  Hoc  opus 
est" —  that  is  a  d 1  of  &job  ! 

Infant  Industries  need  the  protection  of  life 
insurance. 

Kind  Words  never  die ;  neither  will  they 
keep  the  wolf  from  the  door. 

A  Grave  Mistake,  to  go  without  insurance. 

Where  there  is  a  Will,  there  is  a  way  to 
break  it.  Life  insurance  can  be  made  payable 
directly  to  the  parties  interested,  without  inter- 
ference by  any  one. 

//  is  Insurance  that  oft  proclaims  the  es- 


THE  HUMOR  OP  IT  73 

tate.     Let  thy  policy  be  as  costly  as  thy  purse 
can  buy. 

Grave  Digging  is  a  trade  where  one  can- 
not begin  at  the  bottom  and  work  up.  Life 
insurance  requires  only  one  payment  at  a 
time. 

A  Self-made  Man  must  have  a  poor  opin- 
ion  of  the  job,  if  he  neglects  or  refuses  to  in- 
sure it. 

You  are  not  poor,  so  long  as  you  can  earn 
a  living  and  keep  your  life  insured. 

A  Chinese  Policy,  being  written  backwards, 
and  therefore  due  at  issue  instead  of  maturity, 
might  suit  you,  if  you  cannot  appreciate  other 
forms  of  life  insurance. 

"  My  Income  is  small"  said  a  lover, "  and  i 
is  cruel  to  take  you  from  your  father's  roof." 
'But," was  the  response, "I  don't  live  on  they 
roof,  and,  besides,  you  can  insure  your  life." 

A  Dead  Give  Away.     Life  Insurance. 

Great  Composers :  Beethoven,  Mendelssohn, 
Bach,  Handel,  Wagner,  and  Life  Insurance. 


74  THE  HUMOR  OP  IT 

To  be  effectual,  Life  Insurance  should  be 
taken,  not  talked  about. 

The  Coign  of  Vantage,  Insurance  Money. 

Air  Castles  are  made  permanent  by  put- 
ting in  a  foundation  of  life  insurance.  What 
better  can  you  have  than  to  have  your  dreams 
come  true  ? 

Three  Proposals  of  Marriage  were  made  to 
a  lady.  Like  a  wise  woman,  she  accepted  the 
one  made  by  a  man  who  had  a  good  profes- 
sion, good  health,  and  a  good  and  sufficient 
amount  of  life  insurance. 

A  Woman  urged  her  husband  to  insure, 
saying  she  wanted  either  a  husband  or  some 
money.  With  a  husband  she  could  get  along 
without  money.  A  smart  woman  that,  worth 
living  with  and  insuring  for. 

Indians  tan  Skins  with  the  brains  of  the 
animals  which  wore  them.  When  will  every 
man  have  brains  enough  to  protect  his  own 
skin  by  the  use  of  insurance  ? 

A  Maine  Agent  advertises:  "The  Reaper 
will  come."  True ;  and  if  justice  is  done, 
The  Thresher  also  will  attend  the  uninsured. 


THE  HUMOR  OP  IT  75 

Do  you  breathe  easy  ?  Don't  stop  until  you 
insure  your  life. 

Why  is  Insurance  like  Aladdin's  Lamp  ? 
Because  it  acts  immediately  when  the  rub 
comes. 

The  Autopsy  showed  that  the  brain  of  the 
man  whose  friends  called  him  a  fool,  for  in- 
vesting largely  in  life  insurance,  weighed  forty- 
eight  ounces. 

A  Great  Race  is  that  between  the  Under- 
writer and  the  Undertaker,  the  Human  Race.  •" 
Every  business  man  is  interested.     The  under- 
taker will  "get  there  first"  with  some. 

A  Ten-Ounce  Heart  is  the  average  size. 
This  may  seem  small,  but  it  is  partly  accounted 
for  by  the  fact  that  the  average  is  kept  down 
by  the  uninsured. 

A  Total  Eclipse  of  the  sun  is  a  matter  of 
peculiar  interest  to  the  scientists.  A  total 
eclipse  of  the  father  of  a  family  is  a  direct  j 
bread-and-butter  problem.  In  this  case  no 
smoked  glass  is  needed  to  find  the  loss  and 
suffering  caused,  nor  spectacles  to  see  the 
benefit  of  insurance. 


76  THE  HUMOR  OP  IT 

Men  must  not  think,  because  they  have  out- 
lived their  grandmothers,  that  for  this  reason 
they  do  not  need  insurance. 

All  Skulls  seem  to  laugh,  perhaps  at  the 
epitaph  engraved  on  their  tombs.  Think  of 
one,  whose  family  suffer  through  his  neglect  of 
life  insurance,  described  as  a  "kind  husband' 
and  a  "  wise  parent."  Insurance  truly  is  a 
duty. 

The  best  Silent  Partner  is  a  good  and  suf- 
ficient line  of  investment  life  insurance. 

Even  the  Wicked  prosper  for  a  while,  and 
it  is  not  out  of  place  for  even  them  to  insure. 

Life's  Understudy,  Life  Insurance,  plays 
your  part  when  you  are  called  off  the  stage. 

Can  a  Ghost  practice  law  ?  A  man  can 
for  a  percentage  insure  to  his  family  a  con- 
tinuance of  that  which  his  brain  furnishes 
them  now. 


The  Widow's  Might :  Life  Insurance. 

The  Man  who  Insures  lives  up  to  his  epi- 
taph as  a  good  husband  and  a  kind  father,  and 
deserves  it. 


THE  HUMOR  OP  IT  77 

Mortification  follows  when  a  live  man  dies 
uninsured. 

Man  born  of  Woman,  and  most  men  are, 
are  of  few  days  and  full  of  trouble.  Life 
insurance  helps  all  cases  and  injures  none. 

De-Monetizing  the  Family :  Neglect  of  Life 
Insurance. 

In  settling  Estates,   where   there   is   Life 
Insurance  money,  the  family  receives  a  share   v 
before  the  lawyers  are  served.     This  is  one  of 
the  many  advantages  of  the  practice  of  life 
insurance. 

Narcissus  fell  in  love  with  his  own  image. 
It  is  not  out  of  place  for  you  to  think  enough 
of  yourself  to  insure  yourself. 

Nero  Fiddled  while  Rome  burned.  He 
possessed  the  calm  of  the  well-insured. 

Mauritius,  the  Sicilian,  was  a  pirate.  So 
is  the  man  who  neglects  life  insurance. 

When  yupiter  loved  lo,  he  created  the 
violet,  that  she  might  delight  in  its  dainty 
petals.  When  lo  died,  violets  sprang  from 
her  body.  So  comes  life  insurance,  born  of 


78  THE  HUMOR  OP  IT 

love,  directed  by  prudence,  perfumed  by  self- 
denial,  a  gift  which  was  in  the  beginning, 
completed  in  the  end. 

"Ah!  yM#,"said  a  loving  young  wife, "it 
seems  like  tempting  Providence  to  get  your 
life  insured ;  almost  as  if  you  were  preparing 
for  death,  you  know,"  and  she  wept  a  little  on 
the  collar  of  his  new  coat.  "  Don't  be  fool- 
ish, little  one,"  he  gently  remonstrated;  "if  I 
should  be  called  suddenly,  you  would  have  ten 
thousand  dollars  to  keep  the  wolf  from  the 
door."  "Ten  thousand  dollars,  John,"  she  said, 
with  a  convulsive  sob,  "I  thought  you  were 
getting  insured  for  twenty-five !  That  is  the 
usual  limit,  is  it  not,  dear?  and  you  should 
always  go  to  the  limit,  John." 

"Jones  made  his  first  success  yesterday," 
said  Filkins.  "  What  was  it  ? "  asked  Wilkins. 
"He  died  and  left  ten  thousand  on  his  life." 
(Insurance  Record.)  His  first  success  was  his 
last  chance,  which  proves  that  while  there  is 
life  there  is  hope. 

Widow:  "Is  that  the  wolf  at  the  door?" 
Daughter :  "  No ;  it  is  the  man  with  the  life 
insurance  money."  Widow:  "Thank  God!" 
Daughter:  "And  the  Insurance  Agent." 


THE  HUMOR  OP  IT  79 

"Unck  George,  what  is  life  insurance?" 
asked  Rollo,  as  Jonas  finished  reading  an  ad- 
vertisement of  an  endowment  insurance  plan. 
"It  is  a  system  by  which  a  man  may  provide 
for  his  own  widow  instead  of  leaving  her  des- 
titute." "  Do  you  advise  young  men  to  in- 
sure ? "  continued  Rollo.  "  Yes,  my  boy,  and 
they  always  do  so  as  soon  as  their  heads 
harden." 


"ONE  FABLE  DOES   NOT  MAKE 
FABLE " 

THE  CHILD. 

A  little  child  was  once  asked  by  a  good 
Quaker  what  was  her  reliance  for  her  daily 
bread.  She  answered  :  "  Dad  and  his  insur- 
ance." And  the  Quaker  said :  "Verily  out  of 
the  mouths  of  babes  and  sucklings  proceedeth 
wisdom." 

THE  Pious  WOMAN. 

A  pious  woman  once  upon  a  time  prayed 
to  God  that  He  would  protect  and  provide  for 
herself  and  children,  and  destroy  their  ene- 
mies. The  next  day  her  husband  sickened 
and  died.  When  she  found  that  he  was  un- 
insured, she  said :  "  I  did  not  know  that  my 
prayer  was  loaded." 

Moral. 

Elements  of  safety  within  easy  reach  should 
be  appropriated  before  we  appeal  to  higher 
powers. 


«  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  FABLE  »    8 1 

THE  MORTGAGE. 

A  Mortgage  Deed  and  an  Insurance  Policy 
once  fell  into  dispute  as  to  which  was  the 
stronger  contract.  The  Mortgage  Deed  said : 
"I  have  just  killed  a  man  who  broke  his  back 
paying  interest  to  keep  me  from  taking  away 
his  home."  "Good  work,"  answered  the  In- 
surance Policy ;  "  I  can  lift  the  mortgage  and 
feed  and  educate  the  family." 

Moral. 
Better  the  strength  to  save  than  to  destroy. 

THE  DEAD  LION. 

A  Dead  Lion  was  given  a  vindictive  kick  by 
a  well  meaning  but  impetuous  Jackass,  saying : 
"You  are  dead  and  left  no  insurance  to  carry 
on  the  business.  Verily,  I  believe  you  were  a 
greater  ass  than  I  am."  But  the  Dead  Lion 
said  nothing. 

THE  Fox  AND  THE  BOAR. 
A  Fox  asked  a  Wild  Boar  why  he  sharp- 
ened his  teeth  when  there  was  no  danger  pres- 
ent from  either  huntsman  or  hound.  The 
Wild  Boar  replied  :  "  I  do  it  advisedly.  When 
the  need  for  use  comes,  I  have  no  time  to 
sharpen  my  only  weapons  of  defense."  This 


82  «  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  FABLE" 

teaches  that  it  is  dangerous  to  put  off  insur- 
ance until  too  late. 

THE  MAGIC  PAPER. 

A  kind  fairy  once  upon  a  time  prepared  a 
Magic  Paper  which  had  the  power  of  transfer- 
ring to  children  the  knowledge  and  skill  of 
parents  at  their  death.  Thus  all  knowledge 
gained  was  an  increase  over  that  of  the  gen- 
eration before,  and  wisdom  grew  until  chil- 
dren began  to  be  born  who  knew  it  all.  Then 
the  secret  fell  into  disuse  and  was  lost.  But, 
long  afterwards,  came  Modern  Times  and  de- 
veloped, as  a  substitute,  the  endowment  policy, 
which  hands  down  to  widows  and  children  the 
money  value  of  the  father's  professional  skill, 
business  education,  and  experience. 

THE  LOST  ASSES. 

A  certain  cruel  king  sent  his  servant  to 
look  for  some  lost  Asses,  promising  him  the 
death  punishment  if  they  were  not  found. 
The  servant  returned,  leading  nine  men,  and 
said:  ''While  I  have  not  found  the  lost,  I  have 
done  even  better.  Here  are  nine  men  who, 
having  families,  yet  are  they  uninsured.  Lo 
are  they  not  greater  Asses  than  the  ones  you 
have  lost  ? "  "Thou  art  a  wise  man,"  answered 
the  King.  "  Wear  my  crown  and  let  me  sit  at 
thy  feet  until  the  sun  goes  down." 


' '  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NO  T  MAKE  FABLE  "  83 

THE  Two  DOCUMENTS. 
Two  Legal  Papers  met  on  their  way  to  the 
funeral  of  a  smart  business  man.  By  way  of 
introduction  one  said :  "  I  am  a  mortgage  deed, 
and  I  shall  have  the  most  of  his  property." 
"By  no  means," said  the  other,  "I  am  an  Insur- 
ance Policy,  and  was  born  to  outwit  just  such 
fellows  as  you  are.  I  am  for  the  family  every 
time." 

THE  DYING  WOLF. 

A  Famished  Wolf  gathered  her  whelps 
about  her,  and  bade  them  listen  to  her  dying 
words :  "  My  children,"  said  she, "  waste  no  time 
prowling  about  the  doors  of  those  who  insure. 
They  are,  to  use  the  language  of  the  times, 
too  rich  for  our  blood." 

THE  CHOLERA  MICROBE. 
A  Cholera  Microbe,  meeting  by  chance 
with  a  Typhoid  Fever  Germ,  that  was  mas- 
querading in  some  sewage  as  spring  water, 
casually  inquired  how  business  was  with  him. 
The  Typhoid  Fever  Germ  replied  with  a  yawn, 
that  it  had  been  unusually  active  this  fall,  but 
that  he  had  not  had  nearly  as  much  fun  out  of 
it  as  usual,  because  so  many  of  his  victims 
carried  life  insurance,  which  imparted  so  much 
tranquillity  to  their  minds  that  over  three 


84  "  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  FABLE" 

fourths  of  them  recovered.  As  he  bade  him 
adieu,  he  added  sadly:  "If  ever  we  get  a 
chance  at  any  of  those  life  insurance  agents, 
we  must  pool  our  issues  and  put  them  under." 

THE  HONEST  LAWYER. 
An  Honest  Lawyer  was  once  besieged  by 
a  widow,  who  complained  of  her  poverty  and 
begged  assistance.  Although  a  very  busy 
man,  her  importunities  led  him  to  a  discussion 
of  the  situation,  and  he  said  :  "My  good  wo- 
man, what  is  the  cause  of  your  distress?' 
"Indeed,  sir," said  she,  "my  husband  died  sud- 
denly and  has  left  me  penniless."  "Then  why 
not  make  your  demand  on  the  life  insurance 
companies  ? "  ft  But  my  husband  never  in- 
sured," said  she.  "Was  he  never  solicited  to 
insure  by  the  great  corporations  ?  "  "  No,  I 
am  certain  he  never  was  solicited  to  insure." 
"Then  I  will  take  your  case," he  said,  "and  sue 
for  a  good  round  sum.  Do  you  not  know  that 
it  has  been  the  practice  of  these  companies  for 
years  to  solicit  business  ?  Now,  this  practice 
so  long  continued  has  become  a  custom.  You 
are  entitled  to  damages  if  they  neglected  in 
his  case.  The  companies  freely  issue  policies 
which  are  incontestable,  and  advertise  that 
they  will  pay  in  case  of  suicide.  If  they  will 
do  this,  where  men  have  been  given  a  chance 


"  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  FABLE"    85 

to  insure,  how  much  more  reasonable  is  it  that 
they  should  be  bound  to  do  it  for  people  who 
have  had  no  chance  ?  Can  you  prove  he  was 
never  solicited?"  "Yes,"  replied  the  Good 
Woman;  "his  business  was  such  that  people 
could  not  readily  speak  to  him  on  this  or  any 
other  subject;  he  was  a  barber  and  talked 
all  the  time  himself." 

Moral. 

It  was  a  close  shave,   but  the  companies 
lathered  themselves. 

THE  TRIAL  OF  STRENGTH. 
A  Savings  Bank  Account  and  a  Life  In- 
surance Policy,  both  the  children  of  a  prudent 
business  man,  met  after  his  death  to  see  what 
they  could  do  for  the  aid  of  his  family.  With 
the  statement,  "  I  am  ready  cash,"  the  Bank 
Account  paid  the  funeral  expenses  and  lifted 
up  its  voice  and  said :  "  I  contribute  every  dol- 
lar deposited  plus  a  snug  sum  of  compound 
interest."  The  Insurance  Policy  said :  "  I 
contribute  every  dollar  deposited  and  a  snug 
sum  of  compound  interest  and  the  prepaid 
fortune  for  this  case  made  and  provided."  And 
it  lifted  the  mortgage  from  the  home  and  the 
whole  family  from  poverty  to  comparative  in- 
dependence. 


86  "  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  FABLE » 

THE  COFFIN  PLATE. 

A  Coffin  Plate  which  had  long  lain  in  an 
Undertaker's  window  formed  a  traffic  arrange- 
ment with  an  Incontestable  Go-As-You-Please 
Life  Insurance  Policy.  After  the  latter  had 
secured  some  Cyanide  of  Potassium  Powders, 
the  pair  started  out  upon  their  travels  to  drum 
trade.  Meeting  a  merchant,  who  betrayed 
great  anxiety  upon  his  face,  the  Coffin  Plate 
asked  after  the  cause  of  his  emotion.  Said 
the  merchant :  "Last  fall  I  voted  for  a  change, 
and  this  summer  I  cannot  find  any."  "Well," 
answered  the  Coffin  Plate  (with  a  wink  of  his 
old  English  I  to  his  partner),  "why  live  and 
worry,  when  death  is  so  easy  and  halos  so 
becoming  ? "  '*  Ah  !  "  said  the  merchant,  "  I 
must  live  to  feed  and  shelter  my  family." 
"  Not  so,"  said  the  Incontestable  Go-as-You- 
Please  Life  Insurance  Policy.  "  I  am  an  in- 
strument of  suicide  for  such  cases  made  and 
provided.  I  will  enter  into  a  contract,  so  that 
your  family  will  be  even  better  off  without 
you."  Thereupon  a  bargain  was  struck  be- 
tween the  three.  The  merchant  was  struck 
with  death.  The  Coffin  Plate  was  struck  with 
an  inscription.  The  Incontestable  Go-As- You- 
Please  Life  Insurance  Policy  was  struck  by  its 
conditions,  and  the  public  was  struck  with  the 
idea  that  it  was  a  bad  piece  of  business. 


«  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  FABLE"   87 

Moral, 

Liberality  of  contracts  makes  business  brisk 
but  destructive. 

THE  Two  WIVES. 

There  were  two  wives,  the  one  wise,  the 
other  foolish.  The  wise  wife  demanded  of 
her  husband,  even  before  their  marriage,  that 
he  should  insure,  so  that,  should  she  be  left 
desolate,  yet  would  she  not  be  destitute  also. 
And  the  husband  did  so,  and  his  love  for  her 
was  greater  than  before,  and  his  days  were 
long,  and  he  lived  to  collect  the  insurance 
himself. 

But  the  foolish  wife  did  scoff  at  and  revile 
the  agent,  who  pleaded  with  her  husband  and 
had  already  persuaded  him  to  insure.  She 
denied  its  value  and  bargained  with  him  that 
he  should  bring  her  the  silver  which  he  was  to 
pay  for  being  insured.  And  she  agreed  to 
care  for  it,  and  with  it  provide  many  new  and 
beautiful  things  for  their  home  to  the  end  that 
they  might  enjoy  it  together.  And  the  hus- 
band, yielding,  gave  her  the  silver,  yet  repent- 
ing of  his  determination  ;  but  did  not  take  the 
policy  which  the  Agent  brought.  Soon  after 
the  husband  was  stricken  with  a  fever  and 
died,  and  the  foolish  wife  was  fain -to  sell  even 
her  trinkets  to  buy  bread  for  herself  and  the 
children  who  had  been  born  unto  her. 


88     "  ONE  FABLE  DOES  NOT  MAKE  PABLB" 

Moral. 

It  is  so  over  and  over  again,  and  will  be 
always. 

METHUSELAH. 

Methuselah  once  applied  for  insurance,  and 
the  doctor  who  examined  him  advised  the  risk, 
but  the  medical  director  at  the  Home  Office 
ascertained  that  his  father,  Enoch,  who  was 
the  son  of  Jared,  was  sixty-five  years  of  age 
when  his  son,  Methuselah,  was  born.  Enoch 
mysteriously  disappeared.  History  says  :  "He 
was  not,  for  God  took  him."  Evidently  the 
doctor  feared  moral  hazard,  and,  as  he  had 
not  declined  any  one  for  that  agent  for  two 
days,  he  turned  Methuselah  down  on  account 
of  uncertainty  of  his  father's  death  or "  taking 
off."  The  father  was  so  good  that  "God  took 
him,"  but  the  doctor  could  n't  take  the  son. 
Then,  as  now,  the  agent  kicked,  and  the  doc- 
tor said,  "He  won't  live  out  half  his  days,"  and 
he  told  the  agent  to  tell  the  old  fool  to  take 
an  annuity.  He  did  so,  and  Methuselah 
caught  on,  and  that  mistake  broke  the  com- 
pany clear  down  to  the  third  and  fourth  gen- 
eration. 


\ 


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